Lost Wishes
by FanfictionVillainess
Summary: Ty Lee watches Azula play with Izumi and can only see the child they will never have. Azula/Ty Lee, Tyzula!Baby Story.
1. Chapter 1

_**AN: **__This is a different take on my oneshot "That Which Is Lost". I took the oneshot and changed it to be the alternate way I imagined, and a story grew around it, revolving around Azula and Ty Lee and starting a family, and Azula's rather nasty past around it. It will be around 10ish chapters, each one dealing with a different stage in the process. Scenes from the oneshot are in this first chapter, because it didn't make sense to me to have people go read the oneshot in order to understand.  
**Pairing: **__Azula x Ty Lee. Mai x Zuko as Izumi's parents.  
**Warnings: **__Discussion of abortion, incest and rape (_**_no_**_ depictions beyond dialogue and a brief not-descriptive memory).  
**Disclaimer: **__Not mine, I just ship it._

* * *

**Lost Wishes**

* * *

**Part One**

* * *

Izumi is born on a very dim summer evening and Mai is in labor for nearly two days. Despite the absolute and utter horror of her _two days _of agony, Ty Lee looks at the little baby when it's finally out and how its golden eyes look at her, so alert, and she feels as if she completely wants one as well.

She once heard that people are much more likely to have children in the two years after their sibling has a child. Ty Lee's eyes keep flickering to Azula, who seems to be trying not to vomit, and she chews on her lip and wonders.

They have been married for a while, a while longer than Ty Lee would have ever imagined to happen. It is rocky, albeit, but Ty Lee never actually put much thought into she and Azula with children. Azula is not exactly the most mentally fit person, and Ty Lee _loves _babies but is genuinely no good with them. And they happen to both be women, which would make reproduction a tad difficult.

Izumi was an accident. But a _cute little accident, darn it._

Ty Lee pushes the thought to the back of her mind as Zuko hesitantly allows Azula to hold his child, his ankles in a fighting stance.

"She's so delicate and fragile. I mean, if you dropped her, it would just─"

"That's enough holding her for you today, Azula," Zuko says sharply, his eyes flashing as he tears away the ruddy newborn before Azula has even fully taken her into her arms.

Azula just shrugs, pretending not to care. The baby looks so strangely alert as Ty Lee claps her hands excitedly because she gets to hold her.

The fluttering thoughts about Ty Lee and Azula becoming mothers disappear as Ty Lee is handed Izumi.

[X]

It is a month after Izumi is born in which those thoughts resurface. Azula is holding her without saying something threatening, and Zuko is watching anxiously as she does. With her small fingers, Izumi reaches up to Azula's bangs and wraps her fingers in the raven locks contentedly.

The glimmer in Izumi's golden eyes is immediately noticeable to Ty Lee, but less noticeable is the tiny glint in _Azula's _matching eyes.

They should, they should have a child, even if it would be difficult because they are both women. Even if Azula is not always mentally well and Ty Lee is sometimes (always) fairly selfish.

Ty Lee would love that.

[X]

Two months after Izumi is born, Azula and Ty Lee are sitting in a teashop, behind opaque screens so there is some semblance of privacy. Ty Lee truly does enjoy being a princess; it is _exactly _her lifestyle choice. They study the menu, although they will always end up ordering the same thing.

"You know what we should have?" Ty Lee suggests, her eyes wide as Azula looks at the menu.

"Hm?" is all Azula responds with, of course, in the haughtiest way her throat can manage. Why Ty Lee loves her, she sometimes has no clue.

"Maybe jasmine tea and those cinnamon cakes and a baby."

Azula sets down her menu. "I am actually hoping that you are suggesting cannibalism."

Ty Lee frowns at that, startled that Azula had such an adverse reaction to the suggestion. She loves Izumi, even if she refuses to admit it. But she absolutely wants to hold her all the time and smirks at her when she thinks people are not looking and Ty Lee sees no reason why she would shoot it down so quickly.

"No, I'm suggesting that we have a baby," Ty Lee says, grinning and hoping Azula will just think she is too stupid to have picked up the evident cue to drop the matter without discussing it.

Azula looks at Ty Lee for a moment and then shoots a warning glare at the waitress walking towards them, whom nearly falls on her face turning around and leaving.

"You do realize that I'm the one who has to be pregnant in this situation," Azula says quietly, and Ty Lee does not like that volume level. It makes her uneasy. "Not that any child of mine would sit on the throne even if everyone in the royal family died in a tragic accident except for he or she, _but _I do insist that my child is at least eligible. And I don't want to be pregnant. So, no."

[X]

"Spectacular golden-tongued sunflower!" Ty Lee shouts and Azula jumps and flinches. "Perfect. That's perfect, right?"

Azula is not sure if she is serious or not. "A bit... long."

Izumi is two, Azula and Ty Lee have been married for five years, and Ty Lee has entirely dropped her request for them to have a baby, as much as she thinks about it. She is now trying to persuade Azula to let her give her a nickname, a quest that has taken about a decade to reach this point.

Ty Lee is trembling with excitement over Azula simply allowing her to blurt out whichever nickname she likes best. But Ty Lee is not sure if she came prepared with very _good _nicknames.

They are lounging in bed, half dressed, Azula in just her underwear and wrapped in the soft silk blankets as she smirks at her wife's attempts to think of a good nickname.

Not that Azula intends to accept any of the nicknames for a second.

"My gorgeous pure-bred poodlemonkey?" Ty Lee suggests, batting her eyelashes.

Azula tries not to grimace and replies, "If you had gone _tiger-_monkey, that could've worked better."

"Perfect cerulean seashell?"

"Do seashells even come in that shade?"

"Stunning azure sunrise!"

"Put a pin in that one."

And then they are both silent for a moment, and Azula thinks that they are going to drift off to sleep. Ty Lee wraps herself around Azula, gradually, yet entirely, and Azula yawns as she feels the embrace.

"Can I bring up something I've really tried to forget?" Ty Lee whispers into Azula's ear and it does not sound sexy at all.

"I don't see why not," Azula replies airily, closing her eyes.

"Can we actually... _talk _about the baby thing?" Ty Lee offers and Azula hides how startled she is. She thought that Ty Lee had bored of it over a year ago, and Azula was grateful.

"There's nothing to talk about," Azula says icily under her breath, and she pulls herself away from Ty Lee, not even turning around to see the acrobat's tiny frown on her sweet coral pink lips.

[X]

Two weeks later, Ty Lee still has not given up. Azula may think she still has the power, but Ty Lee has developed a backbone over the years and she will not stop until Azula at least _discusses _the prospect of the two of them having a family.

"I don't want to talk about it, and you have no right to insist," Azula snarls, her sharp fingernails digging into the mattress.

She and Ty Lee lie together, moonlight making patterns of chiaroscuro on their skin. Ty Lee has brought up the question of family for the thousandth time and Azula, instead of becoming more sympathetic, is gradually becoming more vicious and defensive. It confuses Ty Lee, fills her with bubbling, fizzling anger.

Ty Lee breathes a small sigh and decides not to prod Azula any further tonight. But they have been married for nearing six years, and all Ty Lee wants at this point is a little baby with shimmering golden eyes and dark, shiny hair.

It is ridiculous, maybe, but she does not understand why Azula will not at least talk. Just a few sentences is all it takes. They _are _married and it has been a _long _time since Ty Lee just quietly obeyed Azula. She will _not _give in.

Azula gets up, however, and leaves the room. Ty Lee ponders following her for a moment, but ultimately decides against it. Sometimes her outbursts require someone to hold her until it passes, and other times, she just needs to isolate herself.

The way Azula's illness goes can be troubling, and Ty Lee will stand by her.

But if that is the case, then she should say it, instead of just being frigid and cruel.

[X]

In the morning, Azula is back in bed beside Ty Lee, sleeping peacefully. Ty Lee strokes her face and gently tucks her astray bangs behind her ear before getting up and walking to find Zuko. She needs outside help at this point to figure out why Azula is so strongly against a family.

Even if she does not want that with Ty Lee, which would hurt, she is a princess, and would likely want to have a child legible for the throne. It is exactly the kind of thing that Azula would want.

"Zuko," Ty Lee murmurs, knocking on his office door. He looks up, surprised to see her. She does not usually talk to him, although he does consider them to be friends. "Can I talk to you? It's about Azula."

"Yeah, sure, come in," Zuko says, suddenly looking concerned. He gets that face every time anyone is worried about Azula, and Ty Lee supposes that he has every right.

"Why doesn't she want to have babies with me?" Ty Lee asks bluntly, before Zuko can even ask her how she is doing. "It's a normal couple thing for couples to do. I see her watch Izumi, and the look in her eyes, and how well they get along. Why wouldn't she want one of her own?"

There is a deafening silence.

Zuko opens and closes his mouth, before managing to respond, "It probably has something to do with our father. I completely lost it when Mai told me she was pregnant, because I was so... scared of being like him."

Ty Lee scratches her arm and says softly, "But she isn't her father."

Zuko rubs his face. Ty Lee watches him slowly, and how his fingers linger on his scar. And then she thinks of the scar on his chest from Azula. With a small swallow, Ty Lee acknowledges that Azula has been compared to her father far more times than Zuko has been compared to Ozai.

"Maybe you should talk to her," Zuko offers and Ty Lee picks at her lower lip.

"I've _tried _talking to her," Ty Lee replies, trying not to roll her eyes. Zuko cocks an eyebrow. "Okay, I've _tried _begging her to have babies. Maybe... that's not, uh, how I should approach things." And at Ty Lee's revelation, Zuko nods.

He does not know if Azula _should _have a child. She still struggles to even manage herself. Some days are fine for her, some are quite a bit harder.

But Zuko supposes that that doesn't mean she should brush aside all aspects of a normal human life and embrace the role of the crazy, broken princess.

[X]

Ty Lee finds Azula training beneath the sunlight, cerulean flames bursting forth from her fingertips. The stunning orange sunlight sparkles and shines in her hair, caressing her body. She looks beautiful in the sunlight, so far from what she becomes in the shadows of the night, when Ty Lee has to pulled her out of her nightmares.

"I'm sorry for pestering you so much about, uh, babies," Ty Lee says as forcefully as she can, scratching her neck with her legs tightly pressed together.

Azula slowly exhales smoke and removes herself from her fighting posture. She swallows and turns to Ty Lee.

"I don't blame you. Seeing Izumi is enough to make someone want it. And don't you have like four nephews or something?" Azula is intentionally not making eye contact with Ty Lee, and she does not know what to make of it. "But we're not doing it."

Ty Lee has to wrestle with her tongue to keep silent. Finally, she exhales and loosens her limbs. "Azula, just because your parents sucked doesn't mean that you will."

"I think I would be an exemplary parent." She has an expression that would freeze lava. Ty Lee clenches her jaw in frustration. "But it's not happening, and stop asking. You can, by all means, go knock yourself up with one of your ex-boyfriends."

"So... you're afraid of pregnancy?" Ty Lee clearly said something wrong, because Azula burns a rather large tree to a crisp and walks away faster than lightning.

Ty Lee grumbles a few curses to herself and decides to investigate this further. She contemplates Ursa, but she doubts she has any idea and Ty Lee has no desire to make the journey and then explain herself to her wife. Mai might have some idea, but she will immediately tell Azula because she is the least trustworthy person who ever lived ─ more so even than... _Ozai_.

And that seals Ty Lee's thoughts. She decides she will go to the source of many of Azula's fears, and figure out just why her wife absolutely refuses to have a child.

[X]

Ty Lee is guided through several levels of security in order to see the former Fire Lord Ozai. Her belongings are searched, her body is searched, and by the time it is all finished, she has solidified in her mind what she wants to discuss with him.

She sits down at a table in the prison and finds it to be surprisingly nice. Once Azula was here for two weeks after losing it in the middle of a teahouse, but Ty Lee stayed hooked to her cell the entire time, not bothering with visitor's rooms.

"Circus whore, how nice to see you," is Ozai's comment as he is shackled to the table. Ty Lee holds her tongue, as difficult as that is for her.

"I'm here to talk to you about your daughter," Ty Lee says as firmly as she can. He is startled by the strength in her words. She always seemed weak to him, too weak for Azula. She made Azula weak.

"Yes?" He supposes this is more interesting than his day would have been without her showing up. Although, when he was told a Fire Nation princess was visiting, he was hoping for another.

"It's a bit... odd for me to discuss this with you," Ty Lee admits, tugging at her braid. _Now _she seems more like the wimp Ozai imagines her as. "We've been married for six years, and I see how she looks at Izumi, and I want a child with her. I would just do it to myself, but there's the whole aspect of the duty to the Fire Nation of producing at least one legitimate heir."

"The chance of Azula's child ruling the Fire Nation is slim to none," Ozai says with a sigh, although he _does _dislike the idea of his daughter raising a child that has no connection to his blood. "But continue, it is... right."

"She's scared, and Azula isn't scared of much," Ty Lee says softly.

Ozai pauses. "She's probably afraid she'll be like her mother. Zuko showed up a thousand times to visit me when that girl was pregnant."

Ty Lee squints at him for a moment.

"...no. That's not it," she says. She does not need Azula's skills of observation to tell he is withholding information. "She thinks you were a wonderful father, and she may hate her mother, but she would rather rip out her own fingernails than compare herself to Ursa. Why is she afraid, Ozai?"

He pauses, rubbing his chin. It would be best to insist that Azula was worried about being a bad parent, but he does think he knows.

Her screaming, screaming and screaming, breathing fire until she just choked and tore at his skin with her nails. His own panic when he thought she would die. He genuinely thought she would that night, when she slipped out of consciousness.

"Ask her about Spring 98 AG, the night she nearly died." And at that, Ozai gestures to be taken away, as he has no desire to play games with the circus whore any longer.

Ty Lee squints at him as he is taken away by guards who are far too respectful. The information is both useful and frustrating, and she wonders why she has to unravel an entire mystery in order to find out why her wife is too scared to start a family with her.

Ty Lee was fourteen... Azula and Mai were as well. That's all Ty Lee can really think of. It was after she ran away to join the circus. The night she nearly died is the scary part of the whole thing. Azula has many things in her past she refuses to talk about, even when she screams about them or hallucinates them.

This is likely one of them.

[X]

"Azula," Ty Lee mumbles as she combs her wife's hair out of its topknot, as she does every night. "Can I ask you something and you won't get angry and burn anything?"

"No promises," Azula replies airily.

"Tell me about Spring 98 AG, the night you nearly died."

She does not burn anything, but her fingernails make a disgusting sound as they dig into the base of the mirror.

"This is about your whole _start a family thing_," Azula snaps, standing up and not even reacting when a chunk of her hair is torn out by the golden brush. "That is _none _of your business."

"Azula..." Ty Lee sighs. She does not know why she tried to pursue this so far. "I'm going to be honest. I wouldn't usually go to these, y'know, lengths for things. I usually just let you do what you want... even if I don't want that. But this is really important to me. I always wanted children, or at least one."

Azula looks at her feet. "I don't know if I can do that."

"Why not?" Ty Lee snaps.

"Not by choice. I mean, I genuinely don't know if I _can_."

Realization across Ty Lee's face that makes Azula queasy.

Ty Lee whispers, "But that would be... that would be _bad_... you were the last of your line then."

"I know. Take it up with my father." Azula hesitates. Now her face flickers with realization. "He's the only one who could've told you that. Did you go see him? Behind my back? Are you that obsessed with this _family _thing that you would ─ you would..."

Ty Lee stares at her fingers and her cheeks flush ruddy with shame. "I didn't know it would... I just thought you were worried like Mai and Zuko were. I thought if I talked to him, maybe he would know what to say to make you less worried. Not that you weren't able to have... you could've told me and I wouldn't have minded."

"I don't actually know," Azula admits, sighing. She sits down and controls her breathing. She can feel the panic stirring in her and does not want it to escalate. She had imagined the blood even before she started being accompanied by regular hallucinations. "I don't know because I never received a proper medical evaluation, beyond, there might be internal scarring."

"What happened?" Ty Lee does not know if she wants to know.

Azula struggles. She does not talk about her past or her feelings or anything that would make her seem other than perfect. But she supposes it is time. She supposes she _has _to trust Ty Lee... she did marry her, after all.

"I got knocked up, my father did something stupid to try to get rid of it, I bled so much that I went through three bags of clothes trying to stem it. I was unconscious. He apologized, and it was one of his only genuine apologies, but I think it was only because he almost killed me and ruined his line permanently... perhaps he _did _ruin his line permanently," Azula breathes. "I kept... screaming for him to stop but he didn't. It's his fault."

The room is silent. Ty Lee does not know what to say to that.

Azula adds, "And I haven't bled since then, so I'm leaning on the side of me not having any children of my own. I suppose that's what happens when you hit your daughter's womb with lightning."

Ty Lee grimaces and then regrets showing a facial expression at all. It seems to only unnerve Azula further.

Azula just shrugs, regains her composure. Her face is cold again, she detaches herself from the emotions she feels towards that night in order to prevent them from affecting her.

"I'm going for a walk."

"It's raining..." But Azula is gone, and Ty Lee feels guilt washing over her.

[X]

_She thinks it will make him... love her. The baby, which is a ridiculous thought, but she is also very young and she has no idea why it is ridiculous._

_Father does love her, she supposes. If he did not love her, she would not be pregnant. Right? If he did not love her, she would be like Zuko. Still, Azula just hopes that this isn't going to be treated as something horrible she has done, when she had no choice in it happening._

_But the response is not what she expects. He looks afraid first as she chews on her lip and waits for his response. She does not know why she is so excited, but she is. She has been alone for so long, Zuko gone, mother gone, and now she will be less alone._

_"You should lie down," Ozai says and Azula nods, obeying him more eagerly than she usually would._

_She will not be alone anymore. He will love her. She has only sought his love, just like Zuko did, just like any person would._

_After she lies down, thinking of her changing life, she does not predict what will happen next._

_"No, no," screaming, and Ozai hates her screaming, but he knows what must be done. "No! No, stop, please, no...!"_

_It hurts and Azula screams, and he is not sure if it is rage or pain. Electricity._

_Dead. He killed it. _

_And then she bleeds. Then she has a fever. _

_Mistakes, so many mistakes._

[X]

Azula is soaking wet, cold and smells like leaves when she lies down beside Ty Lee, who is pretending to sleep. She could not sleep after what she caused. How could she?

"Azula," Ty Lee whispers, deciding to face her fears. "Azula." And she wraps the soaking, cold princess in her warm, dry arms. "Azula, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You're not the one who did it." Azula turns over and slips beneath the blankets, out of reach yet in Ty Lee's arms.

Ty Lee is not sure if she broke Azula or if she has sparked something, but she just leans against the princess and her cold, damp skin. It makes her shiver but she does not want to let her go.

"I don't need it," Ty Lee lies and Azula knows she is lying.

But the princess is thoroughly and utterly silent. And then Azula squeezes her eyes shut and opens them again.

"I do want a child with you. Of course I do, playing with Izumi I think about it," Azula says softly, drying her hair on a pillowcase. "I just don't want to face the fact that I might not be able to."

It is more honest and personal than Ty Lee has ever seen Azula in her life. Even when she wakes screaming or has panic attacks, she has not been this emotionally _raw_. Her walk obviously did not help her calm down at all.

"I will always love you, even if you can't," Ty Lee says softly, kissing the princess's damp shoulder that tastes faintly of autumn.

"I'm well aware," Azula says coolly, and any emotion and weakness is gone from her.

[X]

The next day, Ty Lee watches Azula play with Izumi and can only think about the child they never will have. It does not matter _which _of them has it anymore, because neither of them are _going _to have it and Ty Lee is sure of it.

Azula was already out of bed when Ty Lee woke up, and Ty Lee imagined she did not want to talk about it anymore. Ty Lee is riddled with regret about bringing up what happened to her in the first place, but she was relieved when she slipped into the courtyard and found Azula with their niece.

Not irreparably broken; never irreparably broken.

It takes so much more than that to bring her down.

They are in the courtyard, and Azula seems to make her so happy. Because Izumi has no idea; she is the first in a generation that will only know of the war as something in the past, and not something that permeates every aspect of life. She is the first in a generation in her family not born into the malice and loathing and abuse of the royal family.

And there are so many things about Azula and her father and her mother that she will never understand. Ty Lee cannot help but think of that as her conversation with Ozai continues to echo in her head. She had a lengthy nightmare about what happened to Azula last night and that gives her gooseflesh as well.

Ty Lee watches Azula play with Izumi and can only think about the child they will never have.

Even if she and Azula both want to change that.

* * *

**tbc**


	2. Chapter 2

**Lost Wishes**

**Part Two**

* * *

Azula has the strong, strong desire to run away. Being examined by doctors makes her skin crawl, gives her mild flashbacks to the asylum. However, she knows that she is resilient, and certainly strong enough to do this for that stupid girl. That stupid girl who fills Azula with insatiable rage, yet the princess cannot avoid her desires and affection.

They have been married for some time, after all.

"You're fine," Ty Lee says as gently as she can, rubbing Azula's shoulders. She takes absolute care to reach pressure points that will calm her, or at least numb her slightly. "I mean, no one is forcing you to if you don't want to, princess."

"I would have to eventually," Azula sighs as she examines the dirt beneath her fingernails and gulps. Why this is so difficult for her, she cannot fully understand. She just knows that the memories are painful, and she would rather avoid them than confront them.

Ty Lee still is unclear on the circumstances around Azula's nearly botched abortion, and Azula wants to keep it that way. There are certain portions of their relationship that Aula thinks might be irreparable for her to fix in the end.

She chews on her lip, ripping off bits of loose skin as she wonders how much she can discuss with Azula without her wife utterly shoving Ty Lee away. Even after all of this time, Azula is not the kind of person who will show weakness, nor discuss anything she does not want to talk about.

"I love you, and we can leave if you want to. We can exit dramatically in a burst of smoke and flames, if you really hate this woman," Ty Lee whispers into Azula's ear, her warm, damp breath arousing against Azula's neck.

"Of course," Azula breathes in response, and Ty Lee thinks that it counts as a _thank you_.

This is a painful situation for the both of them, and Ty Lee cannot stop wringing her hands. Of course there would be a number of problems with their endeavor for a family, given the lack of biological ease, and the endless restrictions of royalty that must be navigated. But this is just... _painful_. Not difficult, _painful_.

At last, the doctor finishes whatever she is doing, and Azula holds her tongue. She would like to lash the woman with her words for taking her sweet time serving royalty, but she does not want to make this any more embarrassing or uncomfortable.

"Come in, princess. I apologize for the wait. It's been a while since I've worked with royalty and I wanted it to be impeccable and suited for your standards." She gently bows and Azula does not consider that _forgivable_, but she still will spare the woman her anger.

There are comfortable chairs inside, and pushed to the back of the room, kept out of immediate sight, are examination tables, and shelves of herbs and scrolls about chi flow and other common maladies. Azula tries her best not to look at that, and sits down on her chair like it is her very own throne, her shoulders stiff.

She is going to have to say things that are impossible to say. And therefore, she at least wants to _seem _like the most powerful person in the room.

"Please, tell me why you called to have an appointment, your highness," the doctor says, and although Azula knows she is treating her with respect, it feels patronizing. Azula has had enough experiences with doctors in a madhouse that she does not care for them in any other situation.

Azula looks at Ty Lee, and then at her hands. "We're... we want to have a child," Azula says slowly. "We're aware, of course, of the difficulties of conception, and finding a... someone to knock one of us up... but we want it."

Although she takes long pauses between her words, Azula does not sound tentative. That gives Ty Lee so much hope that she just wants to hug Azula, bony elbows and cold sweat and all and simply never let go. And then perhaps tackle her to the floor and _blow her mind_.

"Is there anything in particular you need help with?" the doctor inquires. "I've dealt with these relationships many times in the past. It's not as daunting as one would assume. It just takes a little more work and a lot more faith in each other."

Ty Lee stares at Azula and waits patiently for her to look back, but the princess refuses to look weak in a room that smells of eerily similar incense to the asylum that haunts her like claws on the back of her neck. Those memories are only rivaled by the two strong hands that sometimes clench on her throat and throttle her ─ the memories of her father.

"I have a concern," Azula purrs, her calm, maintained tone taking much more effort than she would like it to. "I don't know if I can get pregnant or not."

"You bleed monthly?" is the doctor's question and Azula has the sudden urge to throw the table over, set something on fire and run as fast as she can.

"No," Azula replies, clearing her throat from discomfort. "Not since I had a bad infection."

The doctor looks concerned for a moment and Azula glances at the door. Ty Lee gently grabs her hand and holds her, squeezing her fingers to remind her of her strength.

"An infection of...?"

"I don't really know. I don't remember much of what the healers said. Just that there wasn't much they could do. I bled and bled and had a fever, and after that it stopped," Azula says coldly, as if reciting from a particularly dull textbook. It gives Ty Lee goosebumps all over her soft, tan skin.

"What did it come from? An injury?" inquires the doctors hesitantly.

Azula closes her eyes and then opens them. "I was hit by lightning, while training. In a place that was rather unfortunate."

_I was forcibly _injected _with lightning as my arms were pinned down..._

"Those accidents are always the worst," the doctor says, hoping she is not offending the princess. She still has the face of a statue, and it makes the healer uneasy. "There are number of ways we can work around this, and of course, there are ways I can look into if the permanent effects are as severe as you've... thought."

However, they all are aware that the fact Azula has not bled in _years_ is rather indicative of a harsh reality.

"Can I examine you?" the doctor says and Azula bites on her lower lip.

And then she glances at Ty Lee, whom is quite well serving as a reminder of why Azula has to do this. She needs to be as strong as she knows she is, if she will ever be able to have a family of her own.

Azula lies down on the table and finds it surprisingly comfortable. She has been tended to after injuries before, or during particular bouts of illness that interfered with her work as a weapon of war and destruction. Mostly she wound up being given acupuncture and herbal concoctions that tasted nearly as vile as they smelled.

The straying, cold hands of the doctor make Azula bark orders every time the touch is mildly uncomfortable, and the doctor breaks out into a shining sweat as she tries to tend to her patient.

She tries to reach lower and Azula sits up, nearly kneeing her healer in her startled face.

"We're leaving, Ty Lee."

And Ty Lee does not argue.

[X]

Ty Lee is not a stranger to tragedy. While she has the look and talk of a person whose life has been sunshine and rainbows, her life has been far from perfect. After all, things probably were not going so well when a girl barely into adolescence ran away to join the circus.

She ran for one reason, and a reason that she often deeply regrets. It was the summer before she went to the circus that she was on Ember Island with her aunt. Her aunt, who looked at her as if she were a person and not part of a matched set. She loved her dearly, even though Ty Lee wished that Azula and Mai were here to make it more fun and less stuffy.

Ty Lee, in her youth, had a doll that she loved dearly, and took great pains to hide it and the fact that she played with it from her two best friends. They did not have the best track record with dolls. From the very mild chopping off of their hair, to deliberate and brutal decapitation, to even worse fates, Ty Lee knew very well that she could not admit to playing with dolls.

But this one was almost her _baby_. She had lots of stuffed animals, and any toy she could ask for, under the condition that they would probably get stolen by one of her sisters. But this doll, she loved more dearly than anything else.

That was the summer that her aunt died.

That was the summer that Ty Lee buried her doll and most of her stuffed animals.

That was the summer that Ty Lee abandoned Azula, and started a chain of betrayal that undid a woman before she was even fifteen.

That was the summer that Ty Lee would do anything to go back and make any change that could possibly spare the suffering.

Ty Lee thinks about the doll more than her aunt, and it makes her sick.

[X]

"I'm not giving up just because I don't want some creepy doctor feeling up my... _Look_, I think we should talk to Zuko or Mai," Azula says coolly and Ty Lee is stunned by that suggestion. She does not think she has ever heard Azula pose talking to Zuko as a possible course of action. "He has all those contacts with people, and he and Mai have already had a child."

Ty Lee knows she is right, but she did imagine it would be more of a struggle to Azula to open up at all. But Ty Lee nods sharply and helps Azula get undressed, which they both quite enjoy. It is not sexual, but _sensual_, the door locked and skin occasionally brushing against skin.

Azula is stripped down to her undergarments before she walks slowly to the bed and lies down, breathing in deeply in a way that makes Ty Lee think she is intentionally being arousing. They both could use the comfort, Ty Lee supposes.

Ty Lee slowly advances on her, stripping off her own clothes, baring herself for her wife to see. Azula watches, a slightly amused smirk on her lips. Her eyes follow every motion of Ty Lee's body, as the acrobat slips onto the bed and straddles the princess, a fire burning between them where they meet at the hips.

There is something that makes everything easy to forget when the most attractive woman you have ever encountered is fucking you with her mouth and tongue.

But after it is over, after Azula has left singe marks in the sheets that she does not care about, and Ty Lee is back on her, taking one of her hard rose nipples into her mouth, Azula starts to feel dizzy and faint. Ty Lee sucks on her for a moment to no real response, and while she is far from unaroused, she does feel colder as she looks up, sitting gently on Azula's lap.

"Can I keep going?" Ty Lee inquires carefully.

"Yes."

But Azula's nightmares are haunted because of the most beautiful experience.

It seems all beauty is poisoned and tainted by horror in Azula's life.

_Azula can feel herself sweating and fighting back tears as she claws at her own body. There is something inside of her, pressing against the surface, longing for violent escape. And then she realizes where she is as she looks at her bedroom window, and realizes how helpless she is._

_Father enters and Azula now can so clearly remember every word. As she tries to explain, as he shouts at her and expresses his rage and his own shame.  
"You should lie down," Ozai says and Azula nods, obeying him more eagerly than she usually would.  
She cannot move her limbs to prevent what happens next. Her motions are utterly useless and her struggle futile. She cannot change history, even in her dreams.  
"No, no," screaming, and Ozai hates her screaming, but he knows what must be done. "No! No, stop, please, no...!"_

_It hurts and Azula screams, and he is not sure if it is rage or pain. Electricity._

_Dead. He killed it. _

_She cries afterwards, and they only way she knows that she is not genuinely reliving this, is that, when she touches her cheeks to wipe away the tears, they are not clear water, but white and thick and sticky. _

_The nightmare does not relent._

Azula wakes, gasping for breath, clinging to life, to real life, although she is not immediately sure if it is real or not. She reaches her hands up so quickly that it wakes her wife. Ty Lee takes one look at Azula and can immediately tell that this is not just a nightmare. She can _almost _feel the panic, her pulse, and Azula stumbles across the room, towards the window.

Ty Lee hesitates, her lips slightly parted. As she wonders if she did this to Azula, and wonders if she could cope with that guilt too. But she does get up, feeling the silk sheets on her slim body as she walks to the window and opens it, as Azula's hands are trembling too fiercely for her to maneuver the lock.

"You're okay, alright?" Ty Lee says softly, cautiously reaching to touch Azula's elbow. The princess shoves her away viciously and Ty Lee supposes that was a possible outcome.

They did not stop. No one has ever stopped when Azula asked and begged for endings to things that last for eternities. And so, because of that, she is certain, the nightmares and flashbacks will never end either.

_He did not stop when she screamed and kicked and fought. And now she is here..._

"Do you need anything?" Ty Lee says weakly, and she wonders why anyone ever thought she had the capability to help Azula. She feels so helpless when confronted with moments like these, as if there is nothing she can do to console the woman she loves.

"Tell me your nicknames," Azula demands breathlessly, struggling to swallow, her arms wrapped around herself. She can feel lightning coursing through her young body, smell blood, roses and ash, all sweet but acrid and stinging her nostrils.

"Okay," Ty Lee offers, still remaining a distance away from Azula. She does not like people to be close to her unless she has permitted it, and Ty Lee will abide by that. "Spectacular Sunfish, My Firefly, The Unbreakable Conqueror of Universes, My Crimson Puma-lion... or perhaps Cerulean Puma-lion, Cinders, Kitten, Euphoria, Devourer of Worlds... Embodiment of Perfection Who I Am Having Sex With So You Most Certainly Cannot Princess Azula..."

Azula at last laughs at the final one and Ty Lee sighs gently in relief. She walks to Azula now, examining her eyes and seeing that the princess now wants to be approached. Ty Lee gently takes her in her arms and Azula can feel the reality. Bare skin against skin is real without questioning it, and Azula wants her bare skin against only one other person's.

"So help me, Ty Lee, if you _ever _call me Kitten, you will go missing. Perhaps wake up in the Earth Kingdom checked into a hospital with no memories under the wrong name," Azula purrs into Ty Lee's ear, her voice still hoarse from her screams.

"I'll try not to," Ty Lee whispers before hesitantly kissing Azula's neck. She stops there, having a feeling in the pit of her stomach that the outburst was caused by their sex.

It tends to be a scenario that can set Azula off, and Ty Lee does not think she quite understands why.

"I love you, and it's going to be okay," Ty Lee says earnestly and Azula wishes that she could believe her.

[X]

The next day they talk to Zuko and Mai. Azula finds the conversation less uncomfortable than the one she had with the doctor, at least, but that does not remedy much.

She is rubbing her face, and hoping neither of them pry any further into why Azula fears that she cannot have a child. As she tried to fall asleep last night, she thought of how it would help if she told Ty Lee. But then she remembered why she has never told anyone. Because their reactions would be so unpredictable. Because then Azula would be pitied even further, treated even more like a fragile mess. Because it makes her sick to even open her mouth when she is thinking about it.

And she never thought that it would come back to haunt her so fiercely as she attempts to start a family.

She is just trying to make a life with the woman she has genuinely come to love, after all they have weathered together. But she is also a hopeless case, with a fucked mind and an even more fucked past.

Mai and Zuko finally settle down and Ty Lee instantly springs into speech, sparing Azula slightly.

The princess just gazes at her feet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Lost Wishes**

**Part Three**

* * *

Mai and Zuko are made quite uncomfortable as Azula and Ty Lee call them to talk.

They sit down across from the two women, Izumi on Mai's lap. Mai has never seen Ty Lee look at Izumi the way she is right now, with envy, resentment and pain. While Ty Lee can only watch Azula play with Izumi and see the child they will never have, she has always loved their niece.

But not right now. Right now, there is not much love present, just the hurt and emptiness that Ty Lee feels.

"So, uh, what's going on?" Zuko asks, wringing his hands uncomfortably.

"We're trying to start a family," Ty Lee blurts out, no longer able to take the tension.

Azula looks even more uncomfortable than she did when the doctor was examining her. She averts her eyes, and tries to look as haughty and detached as possible. This is just _Ty Lee_, she wants to convey. _Ty Lee _is just baby crazy, of course.

"That's good," Zuko says as Mai stares at them both, wondering if Izumi should be present for this conversation. "So, you and Azula's talk worked out?"

"Yes. But, we... we have a bit of a problem," Ty Lee admits, her heart pounding in her throat. Maybe this is not hers to discuss, but she _is _married to Azula, and it _is _part of both of them now.

Mai and Zuko exchange a glance; they know that this will not be good. Azula does not take struggle or failure well, and Ty Lee completely lacks both patience and restraint. They might be okay parents, but they _definitely _will not do so well with the trying part.

"What?" And then Mai sighs. "What's Azula's list of demands."

Azula bites the tip of her tongue as they all laugh as if this is funny, Izumi awkwardly trying to pretend she gets the jokes that the adults tell.

"No! No, I am actually incapable of doing something so easy that _you two _could do it!" Azula shouts with that wild look in her eyes that makes the room so silent that one could hear a pin drop in Ba Sing Se. "Do you know how _humiliating _that is? Don't any of you _dare _laugh!"

The silence somehow seems to get quieter, even if such a thing is impossible. Perhaps it is because everyone's expressions now belong better on cold statues.

"I didn't..." Zuko tries to speak as Izumi burrows her head into her mother's shoulder.

Ty Lee bursts into tears, Azula stands up, and before leaving, tosses over a chair and leaves it burning, bright blue for a moment, and then crackling into orange embers before Zuko realizes he should stop it. Azula is gone, leaving only smoke behind, and her wife sobbing.

"Why is she so upset about that?" Mai inquires, honestly confused. It does not seem like Azula would care that much. It, in fact, seems like she would perhaps think it was physical evidence that she was above such a mundane task.

Ty Lee manages to calm herself down without one of her friends soothing her. And, at last, she breaks the confused quiet.

"She said she avoided it because she wasn't sure if she could or not. And then we went to actually check and they said it was unlikely, but maybe possible. Not to get our... hopes up," Ty Lee whispers, her tears still strangling her voice.

"How did she know?" Mai asks, feeling oddly betrayed that Azula never told her. That maybe that was why Azula wound up attaching to Izumi instead of breaking her neck.

"She has scars from an infection," Ty Lee says quietly. "She hasn't, um," Ty Lee glances at Zuko, her cheeks flushing light up, "she hasn't _bled _since she was twelve, because of it."

Mai loosens her grip on Izumi slightly. "That isn't a good sign," she admits, realizing that if anything means it won't happen, it is _that_.

"Wait," Zuko says slowly, knowing he doesn't want to say this aloud. "She has scars on the, the, uhh, errm, _inside_?"

"Yeah," Ty Lee says quietly, wiping away her tears after the crying at last ceases. "Apparently... no, never mind. That's... if she wants to tell you, she can."

Ty Lee moves to stand up but Zuko stops her with, "Even if she doesn't want Katara, which I doubt, waterbenders can heal things that people in the Fire Nation can't, even without our advanced medicine."

"But who would want to help Azula?" Ty Lee asks coolly before walking away to go stop Azula from throwing a fit and burning down Caldera.

[X]

_Ty Lee is exalted to go to Caldera from Kyoshi Island. It has been a long time since she celebrated a Fire Nation holiday, seeing as she was trying her best to erase any ties to her ethnicity. But now she was dating Azula again, and the princess was doing quite well._

_ While Ty Lee has very few true connections to her family, she hsd significant ones to Mai, Zuko and Azula. When she arrives, she is greeted by a number of servants ─ well paid, under Fire Lord Zuko's reign ─ who take all of her bags and then she wanders into the living quarters in a bit of a daze._

_ Nothing looks different at all, and it never did. But things feel inexplicably different. Ty Lee strides into the room with the noise and lays eyes on Izumi for the first time since she was a newborn. She is leaning over the red antique sofa, laughing with her long dark hair hanging loosely from her head._

_ Ty Lee's eyes land on her, and her golden eyes and wide smile are directed at Ty Lee before at the person holding her as she seems thrilled by the simplest of things._

_ Not Zuko, not Mai; Ty Lee thinks she has stepped into some alternate universe when she sees Azula holding her niece's wrist as Izumi slurs partial words at a very intolerant woman pretending to understand._

_ "Hi," Zuko says, grabbing Ty Lee and pulling her into a tight hug. He clearly finds it strange when she pulls away from him and looks at Izumi._

_ The little one rolls out of Azula's arms, and Ty Lee's heart skips a beat._

_ This _is _her future child. This _is _how Ty Lee has always imagined her future child, no matter how distant or loathing Azula was._

_ "Say hi," Mai says as dryly as ever as she gently pushes on Izumi's back. "That's Aunt Ty Lee."_

_ Aunt Ty Lee who, before Izumi is willing to walk near, is pulled into a very passionate kiss by her long time flame. That usually would burn, but Ty Lee is in shock._

_ And she is even more in shock when suddenly Ty Lee has a hug around her legs, one arm on Azula and the other on the stranger._

_ Yes, this is definitely some alternate world in which Azula is beloved by a child._

_ A child that looks just like the one Ty Lee imagines when she discusses her future children._

[X]

"I hate them. I hate them and their perfect little baby," Azula snarls as soon as Ty Lee finds her. And Azula sits down, sighing and looking, for the first time, even when she was in the asylum, _defeated_.

"You don't hate Izumi, Azula," Ty Lee whispers and Azula looks at her red, mottled face from crying.

"Then what are we supposed to hate?" Azula demands, hating the look of her wife in pain. It makes her clench her jaw and want to _destroy _something, _anything_. She kicks her bedside table and then sits down. "My father, presumably. The fact that he didn't have the foresight to restrain himself, to do it _safely_."

Ty Lee rubs her lips together and swallows. "I'm so sorry. Do you want to try to heal the scars?"

Azula glances up at her and immediately knows that she is talking about the Water Tribe. Biting her lip, Azula does not think she can tolerate that unless she is in total and utter desperation.

"We try what the Fire Nation can do first," Azula declares and Ty Lee knows that she cannot force Azula to choose how they make their attempts. It is her pain, her past, her limits. "It isn't as if my father ever tried to heal them or get them examined. I don't know if he even knew how much damage was caused."

Ty Lee tries to smile at her, and holds Azula's hand gently in hers.

Their lips press together vivaciously. Ty Lee's taste strongly of the damp salt from her tears, but Azula craves the kiss nonetheless. She wants someone, someone that she can at least try to rely on. Her fingers are sore, maybe from working herself to the bone in attempts to forget.

And Ty Lee notices that, somehow, like a psychic. She rubs Azula's fingers in hers, touching something that she knows, repurposing a weapon for a method of healing, a method of relieving pain and panic instead of causing it. Azula kisses her neck, having nothing at the same level of as the way Ty Lee's hands gently move across the exact points.

She feels Azula very calmly fall into her, and they do not tear at each other.

Their sounds of pleasure just echo through the palace halls.

[X]

It is another office that smells like _cold_. Azula did not know that it was a scent before she started seeing so many doctors. Zuko forced her into therapy, originally, before Azula began refusing to go, and he could not sway her. But now, she is in these waiting rooms, staring at the dragons and calm fire fountains that are meant to _calm _people.

The incense is some form of lavender, but it does nothing to ease Azula's simmering rage and desire to bolt out of the door. This is both something she wants to do desperately, and something she cannot bear to face. _Failure _has never been an option for Azula.

At last, she and Ty Lee can be seen. The entire gentle healing house has been cleared out for a royal visit, soldiers outside to maintain dignity and privacy, even a palanquin waiting for her.

But, still, Azula feels weak and vulnerable. And she hates it.

The healer is clever and well educated in the Fire Nation's science of medicine. A science that was made both possible and necessary by war, but Azula never valued as much as the weapons of destruction or the strong soldiers.

"It's very normal for some women to have trouble conceiving," says the dry, prim, emotionless woman examining Azula closely. Her eyes are unfeeling, and Azula thinks she might like that, in this situation. She does not like the idea of pity.

"Do you think it happened because of the infection?" Azula asks, trying not to sound as uneasy as she feels.

"Possibly. Most likely, actually. There are methods, since the most likely barrier is scarring from the sickness," admits the woman, the look in her eyes asking for more information that she will _never _receive.

Azula laughs without meaning to, laughs at a joke that no one else heard. The doctor furrows her brow, trying not to be unnerved by the princess. The princess who has guards trained to put her down if she tries to attack, who is laughing carelessly as she is confronted by this grim situation.

_Scars. Like Zuko. Just, perhaps a little bit worse..._

"I think the best course of action, and the least risky, would be your wife carrying the child. Is there a strong reason for the preference between you two?" The healer glances between them, sincerely hoping that they have just not thought of this conclusion.

"I want my child to be royal. It is a necessity," Azula says coldly and that makes everything much more difficult. "Heal the scars."

"I don't know if I can," the healer says, suddenly in utter fear of the royals giving her retribution of some form. "There might be methods but if you haven't bled for so many years..."

"Nothing is impossible," Azula says coldly, grabbing Ty Lee's shoulder and yanking her to her feet. "Impossible is just a word for weaklings who want to make excuses."

The healer gazes at her feet, and wishes she had a better recommendation.

She opens her mouth to apologize, but the princess is already dragging her wife out by her shirt, and the healer rethinks the idea.

Ty Lee wishes as much as the healer that Azula would just let her carry their baby.

It would be so much easier than going through this pain.

Even if Ty Lee always imagined her baby with milky skin, gold eyes and smooth, shiny dark hair.

It wouldn't matter if their baby was royal blooded or how Ty Lee imagined it to be; it would only matter that it was theirs.

Azula, however, strongly disagrees.

She will take nothing short of perfection, and Ty Lee knows that she needs to come up with some way to make Azula see it from a different perspective.

Which might _actually _be impossible.


	4. Chapter 4

**Lost Wishes**

**Part Four**

* * *

"Impossible is just a word for weaklings who want to make excuses? _Azula_!" Ty Lee snaps as soon as they exit the healer's office. Now a whisper, "_Azula_... I'm royalty too. My baby could be royal blooded..."

Oh wow. Ty Lee cancels the end of her sentence, but Azula knows exactly where it was going.

"Are you jealous about me sleeping with someone else?" Ty Lee asks anxiously and Azula glares even more fiercely somehow. Even a _saber toothed moose lion _would stand down, but Ty Lee does not even blink. "No, really!"

"Of course I would be but I understand that you want his child and I _do too_," Azula snarls, pushing the gate open without unlatching it. The golden fixture screams as the old metal rips and Ty Lee grimaces at it before following her wife.

They stop beneath the shade of a gorgeous tree, but neither of them pay the branches and petals much mind. Ty Lee scratches at her lower lip and then wrings her hands as Azula watches the birds just _flaunting _their carefree lives.

At last, Ty Lee speaks. "Azula, I don't know why you're so..." Ty Lee doesn't know the word. "I want this too but I think you're going too far."

"I _deserve _this and _you know that_," Azula snaps without a flicker of remorse.

Ty Lee just gazes at Azula, close to unblinking. "I'm still so confused," Ty Lee whispers and Azula rolls her eyes.

"I do not have patience for you crying and pretending to be the victim today," Azula snaps, crossing her arms and Ty Lee tries her best to hold in her need to cry. There is no one to hold her in their arms at this point.

"I don't think I'm the victim. I think if you really wanted a family with me, you would be willing to try everything," Ty Lee says quietly. "I'm sorry you got hurt but..."

"I did not _get _hurt. I _was _hurt by my own father," Azula snarls and Ty Lee does recoil, but just slightly. "I want this, and you seem to be against it unless it benefits you."

The birds make loud noises from trees above and Ty Lee loses it, for no reason save for how her sudden sobs match the screeching of the animals. Azula clenches her jaw. She rolls her eyes again, and now Ty Lee cannot contain herself anymore.

"You _didn't even want this_ before!" Ty Lee is on the verge of tears and Azula wonders what the anger within herself is directed at. She wants to blame it on the woman in front of her, but that would be a lie. "I did, and I'm sorry, and I'm sorry that I dug up your past because that was a bad thing to do and I'm sorry but I'm _not _letting you get hurt over... What? What even...?"

"I have decided to do this and you shouldn't interfere."

Ty Lee's jaw drops and Azula genuinely does not get it. This is so _simple_ but clearly her wife is just too much of a ignorant little butterfly to comprehend those facts.

"I _should interfere_! It's my baby too!"

"Yes, that kind of attitude is exactly the problem. You _want _this so much that you _visited my father in prison_ to find out why I was so crazy that I didn't want a cute little fucking family of four or whatever it is you fantasize about."

The hallway is suddenly quiet, except for the faint sobs that Ty Lee is doing a poor job of containing.

"You are doing this out of spite. I thought it was just pride or the fact that you are so obsessed with doing things that people tell you are impossible. This is actually the _worst thing _you have ever done out of pure spite!"

"I think that might be an exaggeration. I can think of much worse things I have done out of spite." Azula smugly shrugs her shoulders and walks away, leaving Ty Lee in the dust.

Ty Lee does not have the heart to follow her.

[X]

That night, Ty Lee gently knocks on she and Azula's door, as if she did not live there. She receives no answer, and so she paces around their living quarters. Beautiful dining room that is never used, beautiful shelves, paintings and mounted weapons, a perfect living room with a blackened but frequently cleaned fireplace.

They took the guest wing and Ty Lee loves having this space to just them.

"I'm here," Azula says, the door shrieking as it opens. "What do you need?"

"I wanted to apologize for getting so mad at you. It isn't petty, silly spite like things you do to Zuko or anybody. Your father took something from you and you never had to think about that, and all, y'know? You lost something and you deserve to get it back."

"Life is not always fair. I have decided that we should quit trying this ridiculous venture of making a _family_. We have a family, and they are _horrible_." Azula sniffs in, turns away, and acts like that statement does not feel bad to her.

Ty Lee begins to reach out a hand to console her wife, but decides against it.

"It's not ridiculous," Ty Lee whispers, frowning faintly. Azula clears her throat, disliking Ty Lee looking so sad. "But I understand and I want to give you time." She starts wringing her hands.

"Good." Azula lies back down.

Ty Lee would ask for a well deserved apology from Azula, but she knows that she will not get it. Azula does not apologize; it is frustrating to the point of Ty Lee's _rage_, but the acrobat tolerates it.

Like many things.

Like this entire fiasco.

[X]

Azula stands in the prison that holds her father, glaring at the guards who think they have a right to even breathe the same air as her.

_"Because _I'm planning to overthrow Fire Lord Zuko," Azula snaps as she is guided through the security, which certainly is being more forceful towards her than others.

Possibly because she scoffed at the idea of being searched. The prison is, however, quite accommodating to Azula's usual tastes. Last time she spoke to her father it was in a grungy, gritty and filthy room, staring through bars.

Azula remembers when she was imprisoned here before her trial after she was found. She remembers being imprisoned again due to the owner's of a teahouse absolutely overreacting when Azula criticized their customer service... by severe property damage, but _honestly_.

She then is hit with the painful realization that Ty Lee was there every time, glued to Azula's prison cell. Even when the princess was awaiting trial and everyone seemed to hate her, Ty Lee murmured madness about missing Azula, _knowing you'd come back for me._

On one hand, Azula found it flattering and easy to use for her advantage. On the other, she is certain that she owes Ty Lee for that, and Azula does not owe anything to anyone.

Ozai strides in very confidently for a man in handcuffs, but Azula straightens her posture and leans back. She has all of the power in the relationship now, and she is unafraid of it.

He sits in front of her and is shackled to the table. Azula thinks that the guards are contemplating shackling _her _down, but they know better.

"Azula, how nice you see you," is father's faux-kind comment as he looks directly into her eyes. "You look better than last time."

"So do you," Azula replies curtly and Ozai only nods, also unbothered by the less-than-saccharine conversation.

Ozai has been waiting for this meeting for a long while, and he is surprised it took his daughter so long. He reminds himself that she is here now, and that he must pretend to not be bothered by how he lost her.

"You didn't ever visit your own father. That's not very kind of you," he says, hiding unnatural honesty with mockery and cold words. Azula now wants to immediately snap and burn him alive. But she manages to hold her tongue _and _keep her fingers from smoking.

"I'm here to talk about Ty Lee. I know you spoke to her."

"And you told her all about it?" Ozai smirks and Azula fights back her urge to attack.

"Not all. I... We're in a bit of a _mess_, and seeing as it's your fault I was hoping for some _fatherly advice_." No matter how mockingly Azula says it, she still truly means those words and that idea sickens her.

"You two still want a family. It's not all it's cracked up to be." He is too quiet after that and Azula can tell he was trying to offend.

"I'm not as easy to piss of as Zuko is." It is Azula's turn to smirk with a smug glimmer in her golden eyes.

"Zuko..." Ozai hesitates as his daughter becomes more and more detached. "He has that little girl, doesn't he? I've heard she looks just like you."

Azula falters and he hides his slight smirk. But she takes a quick breath and collects herself before he can gain too much of the power. "You heard correctly."

"Your wife told me that you thought I was a wonderful father."

"That may be stretching it, but I have only one reason to hate you." Azula drums her fingernails on the table and the guards look doubly as uneasy. "_You _are the reason I can't do... that with her."

"You two don't fuck?" he asks, on the verge of laughter.

Azula's nostrils flare. "That is _not _what I meant and you are my father and cannot say that!" She composes herself, unwilling to let him win. "No, I think I want to have a baby with her and I can't because of _you_."

"The chance of your child ruling the Fire Nation is slim to none. The odds of you being a half-decent parent are even less." Ozai looks her up and down as if she is a little girl asking for a pet dragon.

And not a woman who just wants to be able to do _one simple thing_.

"Is that what you told Zuko when he visited you so often? I know he did while Mai was pregnant," she inquires coolly.

"You want a baby because he has one. Why not just borrow his baby a day or two a week? It sounds preferable to you being pregnant and raising your own. Preferable to you finding a way to get knocked up in the first place." Now Ozai _does _laugh.

Azula glares in return. "I will do whatever it takes to make my wife happy."

"You genuinely still think that. Have fun with those thoughts while they last. You look so pretty when you're angry. No, angry is too pedestrian of a word. I would call you wrathful."

"Yes, that tends to happen when my father..." Azula licks her lips. "I love her, it is something she has always wanted and I will give it to her. Of course, you and mother and Zuko manage to ruin my happiness consistently."

"I do know that trouble conceiving can be very taxing on a marriage. Perhaps you should invest in marriage counseling."

"Perhaps you should invest in not making any more political enemies."

He laughs; Azula does not care. She crosses her arms and leans back.

"You're not here to whine about me suggesting to your circus whore that perhaps you had some kind of childhood trauma. That isn't much of a stretch." He stares at her, waiting for a reaction and not getting one. "What is it you want?"

Azula hesitates. "I don't..." She cannot believe her own words. "I don't know." The thought hits her, even though it is not the one she came with. "I just think that you might understand what it's like to have something taken from you that you can never get back."

He tenses and the guards all suddenly pay much more attention to the scene. Azula gives them a warning glance that seems to resonate through the room, subtle as it may be. She gets that from her grandfather.

Ozai doesn't know what he is supposed to say, but he thinks if he were able or if he were _unable _to control his impulses, he would have probably just pushed her against a wall and maybe broken her neck. But that fades.

"How dare you compare something as petty as you wanting to be a _mommy _to what was done to me." Calm, flat. Azula dislikes that tone and would prefer him to be yelling.

Azula breathes in sharply and clasps her hands together, elbows on the table, leaning towards him.

"I see very little difference. Do I value my bending a thousand times more than a hypothetical child? Of course. I value it more than my wife." Azula probably should not have said those words, true as they may be. "I had no choice because I was _thirteen _and you could have made a better one. Do you ny ft agree that perhaps you should have given me medical attention of some sort?"

"Well, it seems pointless in hindsight."

"_Pointless in hindsight_?" Azula spits and he very slightly and briefly flinches. She _is _about to throw herself over the table; he has good reason to react defensively.

"Yes. If I had known I wouldn't be Fire Lord in the long run ─"

Azula is suddenly, in a flash of grey and red, removed from the room as she screams at the guards for pulling her away.

Only one of them is brave enough to whisper, "_You flipped over a table_!"

[X]

Ty Lee goes through her normal nighttime routine. Azula is already in bed, having likely ruined the very quiet and subtle requests Ty Lee has made of their servants. Ty Lee _completely _deserves to sneakily get what she wants.

Azula has never been good at sharing.

At last, Ty Lee finishes combing out her hair and walks towards the bed. There is an intentional sexuality to her movements, but Azula does not seem wanting, or to have any feeling towards it at all.

Azula does not even make the slightest movement of her legs, and so Ty Lee just lies down and curls up beside her. The sheets have not been ruined and Ty Lee feels relief for that, but fear for everything else.

"Something is bothering you. Say it if you are going to say it," Azula states coldly, her voice muffled by her pillow.

Ty Lee hesitates for a few moments, thinking about how to phrase her jumbled thoughts. Azula is surprisingly patient about that.

"Azula," Ty Lee whispers as she slips over her soft and begins knotting Azula's hair around her fingers gently. Her wife does not protest and that makes Ty Lee _very _nervous. "I've been wanting to ask if... if you had any idea what we would do next? If we _do _have a baby, well, you were right that I just wanted it because maybe Izumi or maybe getting older or something but I don't know what we'd even _do _with a baby."

Azula swallows. Her throat is dry. She knows Ty Lee is right.

"I'm not even pregnant yet. We will discuss it then." Azula wants to punch herself for saying she will not plan something that far ahead of time.

But she knows Ty Lee will get her hopes up too much.

[X]

A week later, it is Izumi's birthday party and Azula does not know what to feel or how to think. She just keeps as icy as she possibly can to deter all of these pathetic people and _their children _running around _so fucking happily_.

"Do you want to go back to our rooms?" Ty Lee asks for the tenth time, now not even bothering to reword or soften the question.

"I..." Azula actually considers giving in, but then Izumi runs over to her aunts with the Avatar's little water girl.

"Meet my friend!" Izumi says, grinning and grabbing Azula's hand.

"You are gross. Were you eating your cinnamon pastries with your bare hands?" Azula inquires coldly, cocking an eyebrow. Ty Lee smiles faintly because it is the _exact _tone Azula uses with Zuko, except Izumi loves it.

"Noooo," Izumi lies, pulling her hand away and putting it in her mouth.

"Izumi says you know stuff about auras and cool things," the water child pipes in. "My mom said to bother Ty Lee about it."

Azula glances up as she dodges the saliva drenched hand of her niece.

"Well, then you ought to bother Ty Lee about it now, shouldn't you?" Azula purrs before she leaves the room.

Ty Lee thinks she might be crying. But Ty Lee knows better than to make Azula feel weak, and so she decides to discuss clairvoyance with the Avatar's little girl.

This is horrible.

Ty Lee is trying to stay optimistic.

But it is _hard _to stay optimistic about this.

[X]

Katara grimaces as she sits across Azula with a cup of green tea warming her hands. She looks at Zuko again and his eyes are so pleading and hopeful that she rolls her own.

"Azula, I want to try to..." Katara can see that Azula can see where this is going and that is _bad_. "I want to try to help you with you and Ty Lee's problem."

If the table were not heavy and culturally invaluable, Azula would have thrown that one over too.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part Five**

* * *

Ty Lee has a baby in her arms, and she doesn't know what to make of it.

No, _she _knows what to make of the fact that her close friend has shown her to the baby of a warrior now across the world who gave it up. She doesn't know how Azula will react, but she can assume that it will be negative. Maybe the cuteness will overwhelm her and she won't get mad. No, no, that is far too optimistic, even in Ty Lee's opinion.

Ty Lee should not have come to Kyoshi Island. She probably shouldn't have left after Izumi's birthday party, disappearing because there is no way that running helped her at all. But she needed _out _and this place is the only place other than the palace that feels like home.

"Cute, right?" Kanona's eyes sparkle so hopefully and Ty Lee just smiles as hard and wide as she can. She doesn't know if she should lie or not, and so she does what she always does and nods and smiles and bats her eyelashes. "I heard about you and just thought about her right away. It seems meant to be, like the stars aligned when we ended up with a little baby who needs a mom, and you're looking to be a mom."

"It's a completely terrible idea," Ty Lee blurts out after holding her breath for a few seconds. "I don't think anyone in their right mind would give me and _her _a baby. Do you think of the girl who sent you to prison and then think, _yeah I should give her a newborn baby_?"

Kanona frowns. She very slightly shivers, which always makes Ty Lee feel sick; she feels even more like a traitor for marrying Azula than for breaking her at the Boiling Rock. Azula hurt pretty much everybody Ty Lee loves… but she hurt herself the most and Ty Lee has only ever wanted to help her heal.

"Well, no, but you're my friend and I thought it would be right to try to help you with your problem. No one is taking her here, and maybe she'd have a real nice life as a spoiled princess with a loving mom like you," Kanona insists.

Ty Lee looks at the tiny, sleeping baby in her arms. It is old enough to be cute but young enough to be new, and it makes her chest burn when she thinks about setting the baby girl down. She had a hard enough time letting go of Izumi while holding her, much less a baby that could be _hers_ with a single word.

Azula is fixated on spiting her father and making her own baby. Azula probably wouldn't raise a child that wasn't a firebender with royal blood. Azula probably shouldn't have a child in the first place, no matter how she and Ty Lee acquire one.

"I don't know." Oh it makes cute noises when it wakes up.

Ty Lee feels… guilty? She supposes she has just had the cold, harsh realization that she started all of this by prying. She just _had _to know why Azula didn't want a family, and decided to go behind her back instead of working it out like a mature couple.

Maybe Azula thinks that Ty Lee wants this. She has always believed that marriage is about giving your spouse everything they want, and now Ty Lee feels scared of that.

The baby starts crying.

That's a much less adorable noise.

[X]

Back in the Fire Nation, Azula cannot imagine her life getting any worse. She is stuck with that _water girl _offering to help her with a problem she should not even have, and she is stuck with a missing wife. Ty Lee just up and left, of course, because she couldn't bear not getting everything she desires.

"She's shallow and materialistic and I hate her," Azula snaps as Mai sits expressionlessly watching the princess burn things. "She also has no patience. And that is not the type of person I should have _ever married_!"

Mai has to admit it must be difficult for Azula to go straight from Katara and Zuko pressuring her into accepting an offer of experimental healing to discovering that Ty Lee has absconded without even leaving a note. On the other hand, Azula has somehow become even _more _unbearable now that she is in this situation.

"Burn it out of your system," Mai repeats quietly, because she cannot believe she got stuck with _consoling Azula duty_. Ugh, screw Zuko and his important meetings.

Azula takes a deep breath and sits down on the floor in one swift, fluid motion.

"I'm out of things I want to burn," Azula says as she chars a circle in the floor and then leans against the wall with her knees to her chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mai doesn't.

"No. I just want to make it clear that she has spent her entire life talking about marrying someone rich and having little babies and batting her eyes to get everything she wants. And what have I ever received from her?"

"Undying patience, somehow. I couldn't tolerate this bullshit every day," Mai replies and Azula looks about to murder her for a moment before deciding it is not worth it.

"I hate you."

"I know."

"I'm tired."

"I know."

"I wish this was easier."

"I know."

"I wish you would stop saying that. It's grating."

Mai obliges.

Azula stares at her feet.

[X]

"Okay," Ty Lee sighs as she picks up the baby again and chastises herself in her head. "What if we got someone to _pretend _that this baby is theirs until I talk to Azula. Maybe we could even test her with it by whoever does that asking me to babysit!"

Suki bites her lower lip and squints at Ty Lee skeptically. "I'm not doing that."

"I didn't ask you to do it," Ty Lee says and then she cringes when she realizes how mean that sounded. "I'm sorry for saying that. It has to be someone she doesn't see ever, though…"

"I have an idea." Suki smirks. "It's a little devious."

"That's exactly the kind of idea I need," Ty Lee says with a huge smile.

[X]

The moment she walks into the palace, "When did you have that?" Zuko asks slowly. The woman in front of him is so _cavalier _about the baby in her arms. Well, to be honest, she looked an awful lot like that with Lin too.

"I sent you a card, Sparky. Do you not check your mail, huh? Maybe your friends are trying to contact you sometimes," Toph says through laughter and Zuko swallows. She enjoys this very much.

She enjoys this very much until she feels Katara, hears her talking so _sweetly_, and nearly drops the kid. Ty Lee shifts her weight between her feet and Toph knows that things are about to get awkward. Beyond awkward. No one forewarned her that Sugar Queen would be here.

"What is that?" Azula asks coldly as Toph can feel Katara's heartbeat escalate. She better keep her mouth shut. "Ty Lee, why have you brought that thing into my home?"

And Toph says loudly, "Gee, I didn't brush my hair today but you don't have to be that rude," to ensure that Katara doesn't say a word in her shock.

Zuko laughs nervously; no one else does.

"Okay, I'm really not sure if you're going to do so well with babies if you react like that to seeing one," Ty Lee whispers and Azula glares at her.

"I'm not reacting to the baby. I'm reacting to your extremely guilty expression." Azula crosses her arms. Ty Lee crumbles and Toph groans.

Of course, the lie lasts for about five minutes.

[X]

Azula stares intently at the infant that stares back at her.

"It's trial run. My mom got me a trial kitten when I was a kid."

"Did you pass the test?"

"Mmm, no. I forgot to feed it. But I won't forget to feed the baby, I promise."

"Whose baby is it?"

"Some girl. Nobody told me her name and I'm okay with that."

"Is there something wrong with it?"

"Uhh, not that I know of."

"Why would you go behind my back?"

"I went to go stay with my friends and they tried to help me. This baby showed up right around the time we were _giving up_. That's fate."

Azula chews on her lip. "I don't believe in fate. Tell me why this would be a good decision."

Ty Lee sighs and wrings her hands. This is hard to say, but she really does need to say it.

"I want you to think about what happens if you… fix your problem," Ty Lee says quietly and Azula glares. "Really. Think about the sex part. Think about the being pregnant part. Those both are things that I don't think you've ever wanted to do in your life. You nearly throw up when listening to people talk about sex between guys and girls. You don't handle feeling sick or not being able to train very well. I still think you're only doing this out of spite."

"What? I'm just supposed to suddenly jump into taking care of a baby that's not even mine?" Azula snaps, but her voice wavers. Ty Lee can see in Azula's eyes that she had not truly thought through what comes next for her. She just thought about her anger and everything she suppressed.

"Healing those scars isn't going to heal the real ones," Ty Lee breathes and she swallows, hoping she hasn't damaged her relationship with Azula further.

But the princess has that _look_. It's that _look _that makes Ty Lee see that she has always been quite right when she knew that Azula just needed to be loved. Everyone told her that girls think that and get hurt, but Ty Lee is grateful for Azula, even if their relationship spends more time on the rocks than off of them.

"I will give this thing a chance. Seeing as we've decided I'm only trying to heal a medical problem to spite my father, I should prove him wrong when he told me that I should invest in marriage counseling," Azula says bitterly.

Ty Lee never really asked about Azula's conversation with her father, because she locked herself outside for seven hours and refused to interact with anything but candles.

"So you think we can work?" Ty Lee asks excitedly. "And you'll give me a chance?"

"What's its name?" Azula asks and Ty Lee shrugs.

"I'm not that great at names, seeing as you hate all of my nicknames, my perfect cerulean seashell," Ty Lee says, unable to suppress her smile and laughter.

"You've woken it," Azula snaps as she hears the baby stir. "You've woken… uhm, Rei. There are a lot of Reis and this baby is an ordinary peasant who we are _babysitting_."

"It has no 'zu'!"

"It's not my baby," Azula states and Ty Lee knows Azula is not going to budge on that without some high quality conniving on her wife's part.

"Not yet, my stunning azure sunrise." Ty Lee is too excited about this.

Azula takes no pleasure in knowing that this will only end in disappointment.

[X]

Katara says into her teacup, "I'm not exactly sure how to do this. We're going to have to go to where I've been doing my training. I'm a great healer, but I really need maybe Yugoda and the professional healers at the Northern Water Tribe."

Azula clasps her hands on the table as Katara continues sipping her too-hot tea.

"I am not going to any blocks of ice."

"Well, then you should see some more Fire Nation healers to see ‒"

"_Doctors_. They are _doctors _in civilized countries," Azula snarls and Katara rolls her eyes. She is out of tea.

Katara clears her throat. "I actually think the healers there could help you. But I really don't want to help you that much, so I don't care what you choose."

Azula leans back. "I will think about it."

"Yeah, you have to babysit this weekend anyway, don't you?" Katara smirks in sadistic amusement and Azula can barely restrain herself from burning that smug look off of her face.

Azula thinks she might kill her father if she goes to the Northern Water Tribe in vain. She _will _kill her father if this doesn't work, because she thinks she has decided to go to a hunk of ice and be experimented on by waterbenders.

She hears that baby start crying from half of the _entire palace _away.

The only week of Azula's life worse than this was the one preceding the comet.

And if that baby cries any louder, she thinks this week might give it a run for its money.


	6. Chapter 6

**PART SIX**

* * *

Azula stares at the baby.

It lies helplessly in the crib that had once belonged to Zuko and Azula. If it were _Azula's _baby, she would think it was sentimental. But, due to the fact that Ty Lee is trying to convince her to not get pregnant and adopt instead, it is simply an intrusion.

As she watches Rei squirm, she finds herself wondering why she so badly wants one of them.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Ty Lee asks so _hopefully_. _She _is the one who is trying to _stop _them from being able to have a baby.

However, Azula decides to be honest. "I'm thinking about the concept of one of those clawing its way out of my…"

"That's not how babies come out," Ty Lee whispers with bright, surprised eyes. "You do know that right?"

"_Yes_, I know that," Azula snarls and Ty Lee recoils as if she might get bitten. "It's not crying at present. I _suppose _I'm thankful for that."

Ty Lee does not know why Azula is being so needlessly difficult. She thought she _wanted _a baby or a family, but apparently everything is much more complicated than that.

"I want to adopt her."

"_That _is a joke."

"I will _convince _you to adopt her," Ty Lee says. She means it to the core; Azula must be somehow malleable.

The baby is so _cute_, after all.

* * *

Azula is trying to be alone with her thoughts, but that is impossible with Rei looking at her. Ty Lee has her eyes fixated on Rei, more than she has ever looked at Azula. If this is how their real child turns out, Azula thinks she would – will – die of jealousy.

Rei is not even theirs. They are _babysitting _and Ty Lee already has discarded her wife for a little baby creature. It does not look at Ty Lee; it looks at Azula.

"Stop staring at me," Azula snaps at a newborn.

It doesn't listen.

"Stop staring at me," she coldly repeats.

It keeps on staring.

Ty Lee looks up from her spot on the floor, awkwardly gazing at the baby as if it is hypnotic instead of chilling. She insists of her wife, "Play with her."

Azula scoffs and crosses her arms. She does not have the time nor the patience for this. She wants a family, but she does not want to participate in this nonsense.

"It's a newborn baby that does nothing but stare at me and sleep and cry. How am I supposed to play with it?" she says with complete confidence. There is no way Ty Lee can be serious about this.

"I… don't actually know." Ty Lee pivots on her knees to face Rei. "Well, she probably can't hold anything. Or catch a ball."

Azula laughs. "Were you going to throw a ball at a baby? Because I thought _I _was the ill-equipped parent."

"I would _roll it_," Ty Lee snaps, averting her eyes with pouting lips.

"The baby or the ball?"

"You shut up." Ty Lee gently pokes at Rei, to very little reaction. "Is that normal? Have we broken her?"

"Maybe they're just quiet. When they aren't screaming," Azula offers. It is the best she has, but probably nowhere near the truth.

Ty Lee gives Azula a quizzical glance.

She then nervously inquires, "Aren't babies supposed to make those cute noises?"

Azula shrugs. She does not seem to care.

Ty Lee frowns, feeling frazzled.

Maybe this convincing is going to be difficult.

(Same with caring for Rei).

* * *

Ty Lee talks to her at night. They lie beside each other with the dim, final candles of the night around them. Azula is exhausted from Rei and can feel Ty Lee waiting to have some kind of outburst about how Azula is selfish and/or traumatized.

Azula sighs, because she thinks honesty is due.

That thought terrifies her.

"We are not exactly the best equipped people to care for a child," Azula admits. She feels as if she is being quite humble, and ought to be rewarded for that. "Do you honestly look in the mirror and think you would be proud of another human being wanting to turn out like you?"

"You don't?" Ty Lee asks in utter awe. It is almost as if Ty Lee has no sense of her or Azula's faults. How startling.

Azula shrugs. "I wouldn't want my child to be me. Wow, you're getting some honesty. Lucky day. Izumi told me she wanted to be just like me when she grew up. Being a parent means imparting your life lessons on someone else and having them believe your advice and experience like the law. I don't think I want to be responsible for a child who thinks problems are best solved by lying and death by lightning. You're not much better either. The world doesn't need another pretend conqueror."

Ty Lee sits up. "You're not a _pretend _conqueror. You really _did _conquer the Earth Kingdom. They just took it back."

Azula looks up at her lazily. "Yes, _we _took Ba Sing Se. _We're _good at killing and being irresponsible adults. Affection and the personal safety of others aren't quite our strong suits. You'd get so distracted by your reflection that she'd drown in a fountain and I would accidentally burn her face off or something. You really _have _made up my mind by showing me Rei. We're selfish killers who shouldn't even be near a newborn."

"That's…" Ty Lee thinks she might be offended by that.

Azula throws her dignity away and continues, "She's not exactly going to be an upstanding citizen. And I don't know how to raise a child any other way than my father raised me."

"Zuko had a fucked up childhood and he's doing great with Izumi! He thought he'd be bad like Ozai too, but he's not," Ty Lee argues before smiling and cocking her head to the side.

Azula does not look as swayed as Ty Lee thought she would be. In fact, that seems to have offended her. Azula waits for a few moments that tear Ty Lee apart before making her choice.

"I am going to be open about my feelings," she forces out. She's deep enough into this heart to heart already; there's no getting out of it now. "You will tell no one. I couldn't protect a child if I tried. Honestly, I would probably be the one who would accidentally hurt it. We're in this entire _mess _of a fucked up marriage because of my father's brutal violence against me. I never learned. I never had a father figure like my brother did. You can go on and compare me to him if you want, but he had my uncle. I didn't. He had a mother who loved him. I didn't. You _can't _compare me to him. I am a murderer and he is a hero, or whatever people call him these days."

"I don't mean to…" Ty Lee is speechless save for those four words. She does not understand Azula at the moment. Maybe she is hallucinating from exhaustion.

"You could have figured that out if you could see past your own desires. People call me so selfish – and I am – but you are impressively awful."

"Don't talk to me like that."

"Don't pretend you know me."

"I _do _know you! I've loved you forever and I've been married to you for what feels like longer than that! Of course I know you."

"Or do you just know the glamorous Azula you invented to soothe your aching heart?"

"You're super awful and a terrible influence and a selfish killer like you say, but those flaws kind of fit really nicely with my flaws, you know? And, to be honest, you can't blame me for loving a psychopath, 'cause you can't choose who you fall in love with."

"Then you are certainly unfortunate."

"So are you! You just said I shouldn't be trusted near a baby!"

"Well, you honestly shouldn't…" Azula smirks and Ty Lee laughs.

Ty Lee kisses her fiercely.

* * *

The next day and hours after a very beautiful afternoon with her wife, Ty Lee looks at the legal Fire Nation papers for registering an adopted child as a citizen. They seem so formal and it makes the situation feel worse.

This is a big step, and Ty Lee does not know if she will be able to get Azula to take it.

While she does not know if she will even be filling out these papers, they make her nervous.

Azula was probably right this morning.

They might not be cut out for parenthood.

That might be why they have had so many roadblocks so far – to prevent them from endangering a child.

Ty Lee hates it when Azula is right.

* * *

Meanwhile, Princess Azula walks into the prison with only one thing in mind. She has to face the blockade stopping her from taking this step. Rei would not harm her. Rei would be the perfect solution to her problem. Rei came into her life for a _reason_; the convenient discovery by Ty Lee meant something, as much as Azula pretends not to believe in that type of superstition.

She brought tea, although she is not certain why. He deserves to eat dirt with not a drop to drink for the remainder of his pathetic existence. Maybe it makes her feel more powerful. It does not need to make sense because she did it and that is that.

"So kind of you to set up a tea party," growls Ozai when Azula pushes him the carefully monitored cup. He looks at it but does not accept the offer.

Figures.

"I need to speak with you. I need to clear my mind because I deserve better than what you have done to me," Azula says in a voice that assures him it is an order. She would have been a magnificent Fire Lord if that circus freak did not drive her mad.

He does not have much of a choice but to listen, given being trapped in a cage and forced to hear the complaints of his children. The audiences with his whiny subjects when he ruled the country seem like pure bliss compared to Azula and Zuko.

She is obviously livid about this weak baby nonsense again.

_Again_.

He thought he raised her better than that.

* * *

Azula returns back to the palace in a daze. She should not have gone to him, but it just felt right. Zuko did it and he turned out to be the best father in royal history. She hates her brother with a more burning passion than ever before. That frightens her. She should not care about a baby this much.

Ty Lee is giggling when Azula arrives. Wonderful. At least someone can be happy.

"I dressed her up!" Ty Lee announces, grinning at her wife.

Azula feels like her lungs are collapsing. Yet, she just straightens her back and steels her composure.

"She looks ridiculous in pink frills," Azula says.

Ty Lee shrugs. "_I _think she looks perfect. I also think she likes it."

"She doesn't even talk. She probably can't even tell that you've done such a horrid thing to her," Azula says.

"Shush," Ty Lee snarls before turning back to holding little hands and admiring her beautiful fashion skills.

Azula walks away before Ty Lee can try to involve her in this dress-up game.

* * *

Azula is bitter for the next two days.

She still refuses to acknowledge Rei, or wake up with her, or play with her (a task Ty Lee still hasn't figured out, but _still_). It is way too complicated.

Sometimes, no, often, Ty Lee wishes she had never asked. She wishes that she didn't see Rei more and more like she sees Izumi as the days pass. There is no way that Azula will agree to adopt her, much less claim her as an heir.

This situation is messy.

Zuko makes it messier by doing the worst possible thing Ty Lee can imagine.

He invites his mother to stay at the palace for a few days.


	7. Chapter 7

**PART SEVEN**

* * *

Azula is fine.

She tells herself that. Some people believe that, but the tiny cracks in her psyche are more and more evident over time. But only one person knows that beneath those miniscule cracks is a gigantic wreck. Even Azula herself does not notice it.

Ty Lee is that one person. She sees a woman whom seems broken beyond repair and wonders what to do about it. No one ever taught her what to do about it.

She wants Azula to be happy, but deep inside of herself she knows that that desire stems from her need to absolve herself. It has nothing to do with truly helping the princess.

After Ty Lee finishes tucking in Rei, she finds Azula crying. It would be missed by anyone but Ty Lee herself. Azula weeps without a sob or a scream. Sometimes she cries when she flies off the handle at the drop of a pin, but tears that do not come from her illness are painful and silent.

Azula is lying on the stone floor of their bedroom, draped in shadows.

"Are you okay?" Ty Lee asks.

"Of course I'm not," Azula replies, another weird behavior. Ty Lee has never seen Azula admit that she is anything but perfect. "I'm so _done _looking at that peasant baby and how _happy _it makes you. If some peasant bitch who has never heard of birth control can have a baby, why can't _I_?"

Ty Lee wishes she had the answer to that. She wishes so often, but none of them come true.

"I… I didn't know if you would be okay with Rei or not," Ty Lee says, sitting down on the floor, "but I gave it a try. I…"

"Say what is on your mind," Azula snarls. Ty Lee does not like telling Azula she ever disagrees with her, because they are not equals even with equal rings on their fingers.

"I don't think we're going to be successful the way you want to do it when there are so many other options," Ty Lee whispers, taking Azula's hand in hers and gently rubbing her palm. "Having a baby with gold eyes and your lips and your evil smirk would make me the happiest woman in the entire world. But even though you're so amazing and talented and wonderful, there are some things you _can't _do, and you can't do this."

Azula stands, tearing her hand from Ty Lee's clutches and slapping her across the face with it. Princess Azula feels no regret when Ty Lee screams and stares at her, agape and shocked to the core. Or maybe not shocked; appalled would be a better word.

"Why don't you leave me for Zuko. He can make you oh so happy if that's what you need," Azula snaps, her fingers smoking. Ty Lee is just glad Azula did not hit her with her hands on fire. "And he has Izumi, the little girl you _actually _want."

"I _want_—I look at—Izumi because she looks like you and looks like the child we can never have," Ty Lee stands up and takes two steps backwards. "I don't mean never. But we're never going to if we keep doing what we're doing."

"Beg the spirits for time travel. That might work," Azula snaps.

Ty Lee dares to reach forward and caress the side of Azula's face. Azula allows it. Ty Lee steps closer and closer until their noses nearly touch.

"This is about pride, isn't it?" Ty Lee suggests, trying to avoid Azula's gaze. "It's about not being able to do something. You don't even seem to want to do it and we've had this argument a thousand times."

"You are right and you are wrong. You are right about how my main issue is my inability to do something so _simple_. You are wrong when you say I don't want to do it. Of course I want to," Azula says, pushing Ty Lee's hand off of her face. "If I did not _want to _have a baby, I would not be standing here enduring all of this for you."

"For me?" Ty Lee whispers. She hates those two words. She would die if they mean what she thinks they mean.

"Yes. I cannot think of one time I have done something to make someone else happy, but I suppose you can delight in being my only exception. I have come to a conclusion over the course of this conversation," Azula says. "I think we should end our relationship."

"Our relationship? Our _marriage_? You can't be serious…" Ty Lee says breathlessly. Her eyes widen and her heart pulses and she loathes how much she knew this moment would come.

"I am entirely serious. You may show yourself out of the palace," Azula says.

Ty Lee wants to fight, but she sighs. She just gives Azula one long, forlorn glance and obeys. Maybe Azula wants her to resist, but Ty Lee does not want to fight anymore. Maybe going away for a while will not be bad for them.

* * *

Azula realizes that Ty Lee did not take Rei with her when she wakes to a baby's cries. She tries to ignore Rei in hopes that the baby will disappear, rolling over and pressing her pillow to her ears. Azula thinks that it is the most obnoxious sound in all of history.

Lo and behold, the baby quiets before Azula even has to get up.

The princess tries to go back to sleep but has no such luck. She gets up and dresses herself. Much to her chagrin, she runs into Zuko in the hallway. He holds Rei in his arms.

"Oh, you shut her up, good," Azula says. Zuko stares at her; she brushes him off.

Azula turns around before she exits the hallway. Zuko still stands, cradling Rei in his arms.

"Yes?" he asks, cocking an eyebrow.

"I want to destroy our father," she says.

"That's new," Zuko says. Rei senses the tension and begins to sniffle again. Zuko quiets her again. Perhaps he _does _have a talent or two. "Not a bad idea, but I think he's suffered enough."

"No. He has not nearly suffered enough. Yes, he can complain about his bending, and yes, he is locked up, but that is not nearly what he deserves. No, no, he deserves it. _I _deserve better. I want him to face two crimes that we neglected," Azula says.

"Yes?" Zuko squints.

"Mutilating his two children. He never had to face that music," Azula states.

Zuko looks her up and down.

"You don't seem mutilated. Did I miss something?"

"Yes, luckily you did."

Azula does not breathe a word of what she endured, but she will be able to play up Zuko's scar and her own pitiful existence enough to make her father pay.

* * *

Ty Lee does not know who or what is to blame. She did pry too deeply in Azula's past. That could not turn out well and she knew it at the time.

She lies down in the cozy bed of an upscale inn and tries to sort out her life. It has always been reliant on Azula, and even in her years as a Kyoshi Warrior she never got over that. Being dependent is just so much easier. It lets her be carefree and happy. Azula gave her that.

Now Ty Lee does not know what to do with herself.

She knows she should return to the palace for Rei, but she did not take her for a reason. While Ty Lee did not realize it until she began tossing and turning tonight, she now sees that she wants Rei to fix Azula. There are no quick fixes in life and that fact tires Ty Lee.

Trying to have a family is too much for some people.

Sometimes life does not work out the way you want it to, and you find yourself back at the drawing board without a drop of ink.

How do you build a fire from ashes alone?

* * *

"Zuko," Ozai says, seething with loathing, "I wonder what brings you here."

"You look too comfortable." A visiting room. It makes Zuko sick. "I'm here to tell you that Azula has brought something interesting to my attention. You paid for war crimes, but you never had to face what you've done to your own family. Like giving me my scar."

"A trial for your _scar _is hilarious. Who told you that joke? It is much too funny for you to have thought up on your own," Ozai says, smirking. Zuko ignores the barbed comments.

"Azula says she has another charge but she won't tell me, of course," Zuko says.

"She will not go through with it, and you would be a fool to look weak in front of all Four Nations by punishing your father for such a shallow reason," Ozai says. Zuko shakes his head; he could not disagree more with Ozai's stance.

"You think she won't go through with it? She and Ty Lee seem to have broken their marriage over it," Zuko says calmly. He speaks like a true leader now and Ozai hates it.

"I warned her that her marriage would be in ruins before she got what she wanted," Ozai says, shaking his head slowly. "You two just never listen to reason, do you?"

"She spoke to you about the baby issues?" Zuko asks.

"She _blames _me for some reason. Right now she's angry with me and thinks she has a right to make me pay for a crime I certainly did not commit."

"What mutilation?"

"I protected her and it had slight lasting damage. Of course, she has all the options in a world to get her claws on a baby, but she only wants to use the one that will not work. I _saved _her that night and she should be grateful," Ozai says.

Zuko is not sure what to make of it.

He does know that Ozai is responsible for Azula's current suffering, and maybe more than that.

"If she won't stand against you," Zuko says, "I will."

"How very _noble_…"

* * *

Azula sits down in front of Rei. The baby rests on her back on the floor of her nursery. _Izumi's _nursery. If Azula has any say in the matter—and she has _all _of the say in the matter—Rei will be gone within the week.

Still, when the baby watches her with such alert eyes, Azula wonders what could have been.

She wonders what could be.

But it is too late now.

* * *

Rei cries and cries. Azula tries to ignore it as she usually does.

Slowly, however, she approaches Rei's cradle and stands in front of it. Rei sniffles but does not stop her wailing.

Azula picks her up. This could be such a mistake, but she does it anyway.

The princess looks into those eyes, leans against the wall, and absentmindedly hums a lullaby.


	8. Chapter 8

**PART EIGHT**

* * *

In the morning, Azula still holds Rei.

She stayed awake with the baby for the entirety of the night. Her mind spun and spun and it still spins at the moment. Zuko walks in on her and remains silent for a few moments. He is at a loss for words, and is not sure what he is seeing.

"I'm holding her," Azula says, detached and drifting behind her eyes. "She's not that bad. I want one of these, anyway."

Zuko scratches his neck and tries to hide his sweat. He has a pit in his stomach.

"Do you really? Or do you just want to give birth to one?" Zuko asks. Azula's nostrils flare.

"I have heard that one too many times," Azula snarls, glaring at her brother. "Now, do you have any progress on punishing our father?"

Zuko grabs a chair and sits down. Azula softly adjusts Rei in her clammy arms.

"I want to do it. He does deserve to pay for this." Zuko points at his scar. He then narrows his eyes at her. "Why do you suddenly want to turn against him? I thought you loved him still."

"I do love him. You love him, Zuko. It haunts you that he hates you and disowned you, because you love him so dearly," Azula purrs. Zuko bristles up because of the truth in her statement. "Sometimes the people we love are the ones who hurt us most, and they should not be exempt from consequences."

"Good point." Zuko thinks about running away, but cannot remember how to move his feet.

"I am not certain how to speak against him," Azula admits, startling Zuko with her candidness. "I have been very successful at pretending what he did never happened. I imagined I could suppress it for a few more decades, but struggling to have a family has made it hard to ignore."

Zuko wants to guess what happened, but he cannot. Azula, for once, wishes Zuko could read minds or even read her expression. The words stick in her throat; she has never before tried to tell them to anyone.

"You don't have to talk about it, then," Zuko says. "Especially not to me. Maybe Ty…"

"Oh, yes, did you forget that she left me? That's his fault too," Azula snarls. Rei makes a small sound and Azula lowers her voice. "He destroyed any chance of me being normal, beyond using me as a weapon instead of a daughter."

Zuko watches her anger blooming. "Maybe you shouldn't be holding a baby right now."

"I _am_, and you may not touch her. Keep quiet too," Azula hisses. Her eyes glisten like a wild animal, and Zuko does not like it. "I was… pregnant, when I was younger. I would have wanted to end it, but I would want to end it in a way that didn't destroy my chances of having one again. He had more barbaric methods."

Zuko would never have expected that. On top of his sister being in capable of liking boys, she always was so well-behaved. He was the fuck-up, not her, but maybe she never was as perfect as he thought.

"I won't ask who the father is," Zuko says, no matter how much he wants to know.

"Good," Azula says. Her voice shakes and Zuko feels the pit in his stomach grow. She would not let that happen to her, he assures himself. "I want him to pay for more than just that. He stole my childhood and stole my future at the same time. Destroying part of my body is small compared to that."

Zuko watches Rei wake up. The baby does not cry for once; she looks around, alert. Her eyes gleam… amber. He thought she was Earth Kingdom, but she must be mixed. It makes her look a little like Mai meets Ty Lee. Azula is not in Rei, and Zuko wonders if she cares.

"You should keep her," Zuko says.

"I don't know yet," Azula replies. She tries to act casual, but she feels strongly about her current situation. "I want to care for her until Ty Lee comes back. You are not an adequate parent for a child entrusted to me… at least for the time being."

"That actually relieves me of some responsibility," Zuko says. "You know, me and Mai had a lot of trouble accepting parenting. Izumi wasn't exactly planned, and we both had fucked up parents."

Azula shakes her head. "You had Uncle. He was a father to you, and he cared about you beyond his own ends. Do not ever say that you had no one. Mai, on the other hand, I might benefit from the advice of."

"Okay." Zuko does not know what else to do, so he takes his leave.

* * *

Azula sits down across from Mai. They are not the type of people for tea, but that is what they are doing. Their relationship becomes less and less strained every year, but their friendship never has been the same. Maybe it does not even exist.

They are family, though, and they know each other well.

"You should keep Rei," Mai says.

"I have heard that a lot. I cannot keep a peasant child," Azula impatiently retorts. "I will have my own if it is the last thing I do."

"You could have more than one kid. Adopt Rei and conceive your next. It would hold you over while you figure this biological stuff out. It also cuts out the need to find a father," Mai explains. Azula virulently hates her logic. She wishes Mai were as irrational and ditzy as Ty Lee, although, it would be tiring to have two of them.

"I might. I suppose Rei could be a generous outreach to help the impoverished and disadvantaged," Azula says with a wicked smirk. Mai slowly shakes her head; some things never change. "I deserve my own baby."

"Ty Lee could have it," Mai says. Azula cackles. Mai was not joking. "Why is that so absurd to you? There are so many options."

"Ty Lee is gone, Mai."

"She's left you more times than I can count."

"This time we really might be broken."

"Then someone needs to take care of Rei."

"I know. I have temporarily taken her as a project. I do have too much time on my hands," says Azula, turning a palm up. Mai lets Azula believe herself. "I hope Ty Lee is so happy with her life. Maybe she'll find some worthless boy to knock her up and satisfy that need."

Mai considers pointing out that Azula is the one who desperately craves a child, but keeps it to herself.

She has to talk about Izumi now.

* * *

Ty Lee cries a lot. Everyone on Kyoshi Island notices, but she brushes off any of them who try to help her.

She originally cried whenever something reminded her of Azula or having a baby, but now she cries out of nowhere. She wakes up sobbing. She bursts into tears during stretches. All the time, she wonders what she did to be cursed like this.

It is her father-in-law's fault on top of that. She wants to blame him, or even blame Azula for her behavior, but Ty Lee blames herself. If she never pried, none of this would have happened.

Right now, she sees Azula in the bright blue bay. The water looks cerulean at this time of year, instead of its usual gray. It laps against the rocks like the wildfire in her mind. She never saw Azula in it before, not any of the times she was away from her true love, but now, Azula is everywhere.

A small scorch mark on an old building. Azula.

A perfectly blue wildflower. Azula.

A pale girl with black hair. Azula.

A sunrise. Azula.

A sunset. Azula.

A sunny afternoon. Azula.

Ty Lee realizes that her princess is her sun, and the world is very dark without it. In the past, breaking up with Azula made her bitter for a week or two, but then she would go home and pretend it never happened.

"A lot of people have trouble having babies," Suki says and Ty Lee jumps.

She wipes her tears from her eyes and looks away from the water.

"Yeah, but it broke us to pieces," Ty Lee croaks. Suki shakes her head.

"It puts a huge strain on people and couples. I think she is a psychopath and I really have never approved of your marriage, but I think she's probably hurting too. You two should stick together," Suki suggests.

Ty Lee shakes her head.

"You picked a really bad time to start supporting me and Azula. I need some space. She's figuring herself out and I haven't been separate from her in years. I want to find myself again, like I did when she was gone and I was young," Ty Lee says. She stands up and helps Suki to her feet. "This island changed my life. I used to be completely dependent on her, and I think I've gotten that way again."

"I have said that a lot of times," Suki admits, and Ty Lee smiles and nods. "You deserve to find yourself again, if you even lost yourself."

"I did," Ty Lee says.

She walks back to the village alone.

* * *

Ozai says, "You think I haven't paid enough? My sentence was a little _unfair_. I'd like to see you face it. It would annihilate you."

Azula scoffs and leans back.

"I've done a lot of nasty things to people, and I regret none of it, but what you have done has crossed the line. We were your children and you were supposed to defend us," Azula snarls. Ozai does not move or show a single expression. "You were supposed to protect us and help us."

"I groomed you and I bettered him by giving him a taste of the cold, bitter real world. I was a good father," Ozai says.

Azula takes a few deep breaths to keep from murdering him.

"Good fathers don't mutilate their children and make them wear those scars for the rest of their lives," Azula says. She means every single word.

He does not look fazed.

"Take me to trial then," he says.

"I only wanted to warn you. I will see you right before I destroy whatever is left of you," Azula spits.

"I find it hard to believe that you would testify against me. You'd have to admit such weakness, wouldn't you? Could you do that? Everyone already thinks you're so _broken_. Imagine how they'll treat you if you tell them all about why you hate your daddy," Ozai says, seeing that he has gotten to her with that.

She stands up, masking her fear with a glower.

"Goodbye," she whispers.

* * *

Azula pokes at Rei. She thinks she properly put the baby to sleep. Rei is _sleeping_, and in a crib, and warm for the night. Azula never had a good role model when it came to parenting, and knows very little about infants.

She can do anything, though.

She is Princess Azula, Conqueror of Ba Sing Se, and she can conquer parenting.

Even if she does it alone.

* * *

_**AN: **There are two more chapters left. I'll probably write a sequel; I have some ideas for it. Thanks for reading so far!_


	9. Chapter 9

**_AN: _**_This is the second to last chapter!_

* * *

**PART NINE**

* * *

"Why do these things cry so much?" shouts Princess Azula, setting Rei down in her crib and turning away. She has spent too much time already trying to console this impossible infant.

She has forgotten what sleep is, and wonders why she wants one of these so much. Maybe everyone is right when they say she only wants to get pregnant to spite her father. Azula refuses to accept the accusations that it has anything to do with insecurity, but she might be warming up to the idea that she is angry at Ozai.

Maybe when she has some semblance of justice—if Zuko succeeds at something for once—she will be able to reclaim life before Ty Lee suggested family. The thought of her wife gives her a pang of pain in her chest.

Ty Lee brought it on herself, didn't she?

Azula knows that, but it does not make her miss her less.

"Having trouble?" asks Zuko, inviting himself into Rei's nursery. Azula fights the urge to pick the baby up.

"No. _She _is having trouble voicing her concerns. What does she need? I have tried everything."

"Sometimes they just need to cry because they feel like it."

"There is no way that is true."

"Yeah. I don't know if it is or not, but sometimes Izumi was inconsolable and me and Mai had to give up. You need to give up for the night."

"No. I am not a bad parent. I mean, I will not be a bad parent to my eventual child. We are returning Rei to… someone."

"Yeah, Ty Lee adopted Rei, I think."

"Well, she should not have left her adopted child here with _me_. How cruel is that? She is wickeder than I."

"I wouldn't push it that far, but you're not a bad parent for not stopping Rei from wailing," Zuko says, tolerating Azula's glare. "Tomorrow I put everything against our father into motion."

"Good."

"You have to probably talk about your own case, which I am not prepared for, because I still don't know. Mai says not to ask, so I won't ask."

"Mai is smart. It is between me and father."

"Not anymore. Now it's between me, you, father and a tribunal."

Azula knows Ozai is counting on her changing her mind. He would be right if he did not raise her to loathe weakness, and it would be pathetic to cave in so easily. She will figure out how to say what she has to say, even if it needs to be rehearsed ahead of time.

"Then I suppose you will find out tomorrow."

"Unfortunately, we all will be exhausted when it happens." Zuko stares at Rei.

She stops crying, which relieves him and his sister, even if they know it will not last for long.

* * *

Ty Lee stands on the deck of the ship, staring forward, leaning over the bow. The cold sea breeze makes contact with her skin, and it usually would make her feel calm, but now makes her feel restless.

When she heard about this _trial_, she decided to come. Ty Lee was planning on going home eventually. Children or not, she built a life with Azula for years and she could not give it up so easily. All she needed was time, although she knew Azula would not be so understanding or forgiving.

They always get back together in the end.

* * *

Azula does not sleep the night before the trial.

How could she?

She has never even told _Ty Lee _about this, and it destroyed their relationship. Now she is supposed to discuss it in great detail and perhaps she has changed her mind. No, he _wants _her to reconsider or give up. She never cared about him paying; she felt he had already undergone what would make her just kill herself and that was enough.

Azula felt that way before this _family _ordeal with her wife. It affected her, of course, but never so much that it consumed her entire life. Of late, it absolutely has.

Well, she ought to find a way to discuss something she has only ever called _it_, even in her own head. That should be easy for someone as brilliant with words as her.

She lies in bed staring at the ceiling until someone knocks on her door. It elicits a soft groan of frustration, but she forces herself to stand and answer it. A very familiar person throws her arms around Azula before she can even see her, and she does not release the princess until Azula gently pushes her away.

"You always come crawling back, don't you?" Azula says, noting that she sounds more bitter than sarcastic. Exhaustion and nerves do that to a person, so she immediately forgives herself. Ty Lee does not feel angry for a moment because Azula's comment is the truth.

"Of course," Ty Lee says, smiling and restraining herself from kissing Azula. No, she cannot rush this reunion because their relationship is too complicated. There is much to work out before they can kiss and make up like they once did. "I came for the trial this afternoon."

Azula purses her lips and shrugs her shoulders. Ty Lee narrows her eyes but widens them as quickly as she can.

"Maybe you can help me practice," Azula whispers.

Ty Lee laughs, then blushes when she sees her wife's severe expression. "Have you ever practiced a speech?" she asks, explaining her laughter.

"This one is harder than the rest," honestly answers Azula, taking Ty Lee's hand and guiding her into their bedroom. "But it is the only thing that I think will actually condemn him since everyone has always known about Zuko's sob story about his scar and they'll wonder why he even wants to act on it after so many years."

Ty Lee looks wary now. Azula does not confess secrets or acknowledge weaknesses. She does not know if she should be thrilled that her wife is sharing or terrified that her wife is sharing. It could go either way.

"You can tell me anything," Ty Lee says, sitting down to listen.

Azula stands in front of her for what feels like eternity. It does not seem like she is going to say a word at first.

"I changed my mind," Azula says, turning away from Ty Lee. She looks for something to busy herself with but does not find anything. She sighs and turns around again. "I think we should keep Rei. Not because I want her. We just can't give her back at this point."

Ty Lee nods.

"That's exciting," she says, trying to be cheery about it. Unfortunately, she knows that that is not what Azula is keeping inside of her. "We can stop trying and have her as ours and maybe think about having our own baby when she's a little older."

"I like that plan," Azula replies earnestly.

Ty Lee has never heard her wife compliment her ideas before, which makes this even scarier.

"Was it your lightning that hit you?" Ty Lee asks. She wanted to do it for some time, but could not gather the courage. However, she _does _think that this might be what Azula is keeping from her.

"No," Azula whispers, glad that Ty Lee is making this easier. "I didn't think you were smart enough to figure that out."

"Well, that narrows it down to like two people then. I'm guessing that's why you blame your dad for this kid thing." Ty Lee stares at the floor for the next part. "Was it intentional?"

"Yes." Azula wants to run but is frozen in place. She does not think her heart has ever fluttered like this before, anxiety surging through her; perhaps she has never been so scared. "It was because I got pregnant."

"Oh." Ty Lee does not know what to make of it. "You could've told me. I had a pregnancy scare before."

"It's not remotely the same!" Azula screams, making Ty Lee jump. Now the acrobat is the scared one. "It _isn't _and don't you dare _ever _compare…!"

"I didn't mean to compare it. I just meant that I'd be a hypocrite if I criticized you," Ty Lee says under her breath, trying and failing to meet Azula's eyes. "You don't have to tell me about it."

"Good. Because I don't want to," Azula says, wondering how she can talk about it at the trial when she cannot even tell Ty Lee. Maybe it is _harder _to tell Ty Lee than strangers.

She hopes for that at least.

"We're keeping Rei!" Ty Lee realizes loudly, clapping her hands. "We're keeping Rei!"

"I know," Azula says softly, "and your yelling is going to make her start crying again."

"And you've been taking care of her while I'm gone!" Ty Lee grins now.

Azula wonders how anyone could be happy today.

"Mostly Zuko has been, but I am better at it than him," Azula replies.

"We should have a baby shower!" Ty Lee jumps up, unable to contain her excitement.

"The baby is already born." Azula cocks an eyebrow.

"So what?"

Ty Lee smiles and Azula decides that it cannot hurt.


	10. Chapter 10

**PART TEN**

* * *

"Before we go to the trial," Azula said to her wife in the morning, "I need to tell you something. I want to say it in private to you instead of you finding out when the whole world does."

That part makes Azula's heart race.

"Anything."

"What happened… that… that baby that… was his."

"What does that mean?" Ty Lee asks, which kills Azula.

"It is difficult to vocalize things that have been unsaid for decades," Azula says, fixing her gaze on her hands, which rest on her knees to hide the shaking. "The… baby… the baby was his baby and mine and was my sibling and my child and does that make things clearer?"

It is far from her most eloquent, and she thinks she is going to throw up from giving even such a vague description. This is a skeleton that should have permanently stayed in the closet, and now Azula is about to expose it in front of an entire court.

Ty Lee makes the next few moments agonizing by staying perfectly still. She says nothing foronce in her life. The only part of Ty Lee'io9kks expression Azula can read is the fear and concern in her slightly-wider eyes.

Just as Azula starts to stand up and leave, Ty Lee hugs her. She kisses Azula's cheek and then holds onto her, breathing in her beautiful scent.

"I love you," Ty Lee says, since she has no idea what words are right. No one has ever said something like that to her before, and she only wishes Azula had felt comfortable to tell her earlier. "I hope that's good enough."

Azula digs her claws into Ty Lee's back to stop her from pulling away.

"It is," Azula says softly.

They reluctantly release each other and return to readying themselves for the trial.

[X]

Azula sees her father, then sees everyone in the room. He gives her a _pitying _glance and she wonders why._ She_ should be the one to pity _him_. She watches Zuko speak, watches the room react, rehearses her words in her head.

She tries not to think about what people will think of her. It is his crime and she is a marvelous politician who survived two regimes coming out on top.

When she _does _say it aloud, it feels horrible, then it feels good.

When she truly faces the fact that he controls and damages her life from behind bars—like he did when he put her and Ty Lee through this wringer—and lets everyone else know, there is a sense of relief.

But that only lasts past her kiss with Ty Lee.

She turns to Zuko and he stammers an awkward apology for a thousand incidents Azula does not care about. People who hate Azula smile strangely and a few others frown even more strangely.

"Let's go home to Rei," Azula whispers to her wife.

[X]

Two days after the trial, Azula has yet to leave her room. She cannot bear the way people look at her, especially Zuko, and Zuko seems to be around every corner treating her as if she is fragile even more than he did when she was frail and insane. _Everyone _knows now, not just the people in the room.

Ozai will pay for what he did to his children, fine, but Azula thinks she has been given a worse sentence.

But today she drags herself out of bed and tries to make herself presentable for one reason; it is Rei's baby shower. Maybe the attention will be on the baby instead of Azula.

Ty Lee stands by Azula with her hand on her shoulder. She is the only person left in the world who still looks at Azula the same way she always has. The same has been true no matter what made Azula look weak or unflattering; Ty Lee still gazes at her like she is bathing in the light of the sun.

"It's going to be fun and you're going to be fine and it's going to be fun and you're going to be fine…" Ty Lee repeats that so many times that Azula stops listening.

"I have done too much to spite my father," Azula says, trying to stall her public appearance. "We have Rei and she is a peasant orphan. Your baby would have been more than good enough for me. I didn't know until…"

"This too shall pass," Ty Lee says.

Azula sighs. "You have been saying that to me for years and it never has been true."

"Maybe I'm like one of those geniuses who nobody understands until they're dead," Ty Lee suggests, walking to the door.

Azula stares, fighting her strong urge to just crawl into her closet and die.

[X]

Azula holds Rei as a shield. Eyes go directly to the baby, and Azula is forced to remember what she got out of this; a baby girl who cries way too often and pulls on Azula's bangs _constantly_. So far, only one person at this dreadful party has softly spoken to her and asked if she is okay.

The loud, sticky, peasant baby has her merits.

Enough merits to merit being raised as a princess.

[X]

Azula and Ty Lee sneak away from the baby shower, and no one seems to notice the guests of honor going missing. They walk into a cold, lonely room but are warm and together in it.

"This is going to be really hard," Ty Lee says, touching Azula's hand and then taking it in hers. "I love Rei already but I'm really terrified now that I've realized it's happening."

"You're the one who wanted a family," says Azula, smirking at Ty Lee's pout. She kisses Ty Lee, biting her lip for a half-second before pulling away. "Luckily, you have married _me_, and so you never have to worry about anything ever again."

Ty Lee smiles. "I do want this family. I want this family to work."

Azula does not have anything eloquent or regal or even intelligent to say about Ty Lee's exceptionally passionate words.

She just replies, "So do I."

**THE END**

* * *

**_AN: _**_That's the ending. I'm planning on writing a sequel but I'm going to wait until my winter break to write and post it. I really hope you liked my story! Thanks for reading._


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